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Tavernator Beer Definitions

October 18th, 2010 by Android | Filed under Beer Definitions.

In listening to criticisms of the site, and there have been many, people have complained that there is no place on the site to learn more about beer itself. You know the different styles, how they taste, etc.

To that end we at Tavernator present you with Beer Definitions, an indefinite source for more information that, at best, can only be used at a bar or when you are so low on conversational ideas that you are forced to resort to talking about beer.1 Below are some definitions of basic beer terminology, Tavernator.com terminolgy as well as some generic guidelines for various beer styles.

Yet unlike the others, we back these definitions up with our fantastic* unconditional money back guarantee, if you pay us a one thousand dollars for each beer style definition you read and after trying beers described you are not completely satisfied with our descriptions we will refund 50% of what you paid us, no questions asked.
(* to us)

We have further broken down our definitions by seasonal styles2 – The Editors.

General comments on Beer Tasting –   Look you hear a lot of claims about a beer made by the brewer and “expert” as to how a beer should taste, but the reality is even within certain styles different beers can taste very differently.  3Even the experts at Tavernator.com can not taste all the “dog whistle” 4 flavors many brewers and their tasters claim exist in their brews. So if you do not taste the “dog whistle” flavors or even the main flavors, do not sweat it, they are your taste buds and are there solely for your enjoyment.5The bottom line is, if you like it, keep drinking it.6 Just keep in mind when reading these descriptions and any and all of your future forays into beer drinking please keep the following in mind: everybody’s taste-buds are different, but yours are just not as good as ours.

Base definitions:

ABV – Alcohol by volume, usually given in a percent. ABV is used for beer and that beverage which starts with a w; whereas proof is generally used for hard liquor. Proof translates literally to 1 proof equalling 1/2% ABV. Apparently the term came from cowboys who wanted to know that their alocohol was not watered down, they would put a match to it and if it caught fire they called it 100 proof. Since it takes 50% ABV for a drink to catch fire, the industry adopted the standard of measuring proof at 100 proof being 50% ABV.

Ale yeast – Yeast that ferments at the top of the wort. This generally occurs at warmer temperatures, say between 65 to 75 degrees Fahrenheit. The thinking among many beer connoisseurs is that you want to drink the beer at the fermentation temperature.7

Attenuation – a measure of sugar consumption in the wort based upon “Gravity” measurements using a Hydrometer. These can be measured in Plato or Specific Gravity weights. 12 degrees Plato or Briz represents a 12% sugar solution in water which works out to about 1.048 SG (US) or 1048 SG (British) or original gravity, where 1.000 or 1000 is the weight of water and 1.048 or 1048 is heavier than water. These measurements are performed prior to fermentation of the wort or Original Gravity, usually signified as OG, and after fermentation is completed or stopped, signified as FG or Final Gravity. Attenuation is measured as OG minus FG divided by OG. If Specific Gravity measurements are used, the 1 or 1000 is subtracted from the OG as a divider. If you multiply the result from that by 131.715(1.048OG – 1.012FG = .036) or .131715(1048OG – 1012FG = 36) you get a reasonably accurate representation of ABV. (131.715 the equivalent of Pi for beer?) (http://brewadvice.com/questions/675/what-is-attentuation; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specific_gravity; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_(beer))

Beer-heads – kind of like connoisseur pot-heads only they are into beer. Less bourgeoigenous than the “winers.”

Beer on Steroids – Any beer where extreme amounts of hops, alcohol content, malt etc. may be used to distinguish the beer from its original style. Commercial examples of these would be Dogfishhead 120 Minute IPA, Samuel Adams Imperial Pilsener, or Lucky Bucket Heartland Wheat.

Bourgeoigenous – A meterosexual in or with the attitude of the ownership class.8 This term developed by graduates of George Washington, Brooklyn and New York Law Schools arose out of the long hours of tedium that generations earlier inspired the poetry of Wallace Stevens, another NYLS graduate, and the philosophy of Joseph Heller’s “Dunbar.”9

“Dog Whistle” Flavors – Flavors so faint that like a dog whistle, only non-humans can taste them. Also like dogs who use their heightened senses of smell to identify and introduce themselves to other dogs by smelling each others butts, most pompous beer experts like to identify and introduce most of these flavors while shrouded in a gaseous halo of crap.10

IBU – International Bitterness Units, this is a measure of the bitterness you should taste in a given beer usually caused by hops. It is measured in whole numbers.

Lager yeast – Yeast that ferments at the bottom of the wort. This generally occurs at cooler temperatures, say between 35(very low) to 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Lager beer is the most commonly brewed beer in the world.11

Reinheitsgebot – The German purity law 12 first suggested in 1487 and then codified in 1516 in Ingolstadt, Bavaria. Under this law, beer could only contain the following ingredients: water; barley, malted or unmalted; and hops. No wheat, no corn, no rice. 13 The adoption of the Reinheitsgebot nationwide in 1871 as part of Bavaria’s condition for entering a unified Germany ensured the extermination of other regional German beer styles including north German spiced beer and German cherry beer.14 “Shockingly” , Bavarian Hefeweizen and other Bavarian Wheat beers did not suffer such a fate despite technically running afoul of the law. Following World War II, 15 the Reinheitsgebot was lifted by the European Court of Justice. Even so German brewers to this day still claim to abide by its rules realizing that most beer drinkers will not associate it with the massive growth of Pilsener style beers in the late 1800’s and the near extinction of all other competing beer styles.16

Session Beers – A beer that you can drink multiple bottles, pints, glasses, mugs, cans, steins, etc. of over a single session and are likely to want to do it again in the future assuming you do not overdo it to the point that you suffer a life altering alcohol induced vomiting session and hangover that creates a reflexive allergic reaction to the product in the future. A seesion beer is inherently not a “beer on Steroids” except for the most extreme “beer head.”

“The Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” – The Editors “French” variation on “what the f#$%?” Derived from, where else? Animal House. Following Dean Wormer’s shut down of Delta house, Bluto harangues, “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” Otter looks to Boon and asks “The Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” Animal house – Pearl Harbor, Unlike today where people were goaded into believing that Iraq attacked the world trade center, everybody in the 1960’s, except bluto apparently, knew the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor not their Axis partners the Germans. They have much greater sins for which to atone.

Uber Beers – Beer styles which became ubiquitous spatially and temporally. (The Editor’s – “What the F?!?”) In their era they were a beer every serious beer drinker had to try in its time. In their time they could be found in some part of every continent where civilization existed. This Tavernator concept channels Nietzsche’s Uber-man concept. The beer should be true to its own standards, unwavering in the approval or disapproval of the masses, yet simultaneously dominate the brewing culture of its era. A Brewer’s goal, much like Nietzsche’s role for women should be to produce an Uber Beer. An Uber-man should spend extended time in solitude to concentrate on creating genius. A Master Brewer probably needs to do the same to create an Uber Beer. Uber Beers have included Porter, Pale Ale, Pilsener, and Premium American Pilsener or PAP. Please note that Tavernators definition of an Uber Beer runs in complete contravention to the trend in the brewing industry to attribute Uber Beer status to craft brews generally and to rare especially odd craft brews in particular. See generally the following websites: uberbier.com; hollerbackproductions.com/uberfestival; brookstonbeerbulletin.com/a-hilarious-spoof-of-the-uber-beer-geek; lewbryson.blogspot.com/…/if-youre-uber-beer-geekbetter-not-read.html. In our minds an Uber Beer must dominate its cultural moment. Craft brews, although generally superior to the curent Uber Beer of the moment, PAP, are too diverse styylistically, control too small a market, kowtow to Uber Beers of the past or re-invent beers that died out in the past for good reason. See especially lewbryson.blogspot.com and brookstonbeerbulletin.com/a-hilarious-spoof-of-the-uber-beer-geek. For these reasons Tavernator can not justify conferring Uber Beer status upon craft brews at this time.

Winers- Bourgeoigenous connoisseurs of that weanie drink known as wine. When these “guys” really get going on wine, the toxic pomposity of the gaseous halo surrounding these clowns is enough violate the Geneva Conventions against weapons of mass destruction.

Wort – (pronounced wert or vert) that liquid mass of boiled water, barley malt, hops, and Reinheitsgobot17 forbid, adjuncts such as corn, rice, wheat, (or other alcohol producing grain), fruit, spices, or other flavouring/preservative additives besides hops. Yeast is added to the wort after it cools down to work its magic and create the substance we love so much.

SRM – a numbered chart for determining beer colour.18

Summer Beers

Bohemian Pilsener:

The original Pilsener Beer. The true “King of Beers” and a beer of any king worth his salt. (Also an Uber Beer) First appearing in 1842, it would create such a sensation that it almost lead to the extinction of its second most notable example – Budweiser/Budjevice, almost exterminated by Anheuser Busch’s, now InBev’s, Budweiser, the beer of the same name but a weaker variation of the Bohemian Pilsener beer style that ultimately conquered the world, Premium American Pilsener. (Feeling less dickish we advise you to see the definitions below.) Pale to deep gold, Bohemian Pilsener should have a head that is moderately large and lasts. A noticeable bitterness, with a touch of peppery spice should be balanced against a full and multi-layered maltiness, no fruitiness although some versions might have a slight butteriness to them. Body a little less watery than its German cousin and may even appear bordering on ale-like, but with more carbonation.

“Crisp, complex and well-rounded yet refreshing.

Comments: Uses Moravian malted barley and a decoction mash for rich, malt character. Saaz hops and low sulfate, low carbonate water provide a distinctively soft, rounded hop profile. Traditional yeast sometimes can provide a background diacetyl note. Dextrins provide additional body, and diacetyl enhances the perception of a fuller palate.

History: First brewed in 1842, this style was the original clear, light-colored beer.”
“Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044 – 1.056
IBUs: 35 – 45 FG: 1.013 – 1.017
SRM: 3.5 – 6 ABV: 4.2 – 5.4%

Commercial Examples: Pilsner Urquell, Krušovice Imperial 12°, Budweiser Budvar (Czechvar in the US), Czech Rebel, Staropramen, Gambrinus Pilsner, Zlaty Bazant Golden Pheasant, Dock Street Bohemian Pilsner”19, Sierra Nevada Summerfest Lager,

German Pilsner or simply “Pils:”

This should be a crisp and bitter beer. A lot of these styles of beer, when exported in the bottle to the U.S. get a slightly heavy sweet bitterness to them. A little sweetness is okay, but the dry bitterness should clean it out pretty quickly. This usually means it is not entirely fresh. Usually the tap versions do not suffer this fate. Pils should have a clean flavor, a dry maybe spicy bitterness, no real fruitiness and no buttery/creamy texture or flavor. May also have a hint of sulphur. The texture or body should be more water-like than Ales and more highly carbonated.

“History: A copy of Bohemian Pilsener adapted to brewing conditions in Germany.

Ingredients: Pilsner malt, German hop varieties (especially noble varieties such as Hallertauer, Tettnanger and Spalt for taste and aroma), medium sulfate water, German lager yeast.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044 – 1.050
IBUs: 25 – 45 FG: 1.008 – 1.013
SRM: 2 – 5 ABV: 4.4 – 5.2%

Commercial Examples: Samuel Adams Noble Pils, Victory Prima Pils, Bitburger, Warsteiner, Trumer Pils, Old Dominion Tupper’s Hop Pocket Pils, König Pilsener, Jever Pils, Left Hand Polestar Pilsner, Holsten Pils, Spaten Pils, Brooklyn Pilsner”20

Munich Helles:

A lager very similar to Pilsner in ingredients, subtle variations in the proportions and brewing process create a slightly sweet malty beer with “just a kiss of the hops.”21 Similar in color and head to a pilsner, you may need a halo to really tell the difference between this and some weakly hopped pilsners. “Created in Munich in 1895 at the Spaten brewery by Gabriel Sedlmayr to compete with Pilsner-style beers.”

Ingredients: Moderate carbonate water, Pilsner malt, German noble hop varieties.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.045 – 1.051
IBUs: 16 – 22 FG: 1.008 – 1.012
SRM: 3 – 5 ABV: 4.7 – 5.4%

Commercial Examples: Weihenstephaner Original, Hacker-Pschorr Münchner Gold, Bürgerbräu Wolznacher Hell Naturtrüb, Mahr’s Hell, Paulaner Premium Lager, Spaten Premium Lager, Stoudt’s Gold Lager” 22Saranac Helles

Dortmunder Export:

A Northern German lager response to the Pilsener craze sweeping the world in the late 1800’s, it is said to have the malt character of Helles, the hops character of Pilsner and it is, theoretically, stronger than both. Utilizing high mineral content water it too tends to provide a subtle flavor and aroma influence. You may even smell sulphur among other things if you are in the Dog Whistle Zone. Brewed to a slightly higher starting gravity than other light lagers, it should provide a firm malty body and underlying maltiness to complement the sulfate-accentuated hop bitterness. The term “Export” is a beer strength category under German beer tax law, and is not strictly synonymous with the “Dortmunder” style. Beer from other cities or regions can be brewed to Export strength, and labeled as such. Beck’s from Bremen for example which some say falls under the Super PAP category. Nonetheless it is a variation on the Pilsener theme which swept the world, except the UK and Belgium, from the mid 1800’s to the 1920’s. For many years it held its own, even late into the 1990’s, but it may now be more on the decline with the resurgence of other styles more easily distinguishable from pilsener.
“OG: 1.048 – 1.056 IBUs: 23 – 30 FG: 1.010 – 1.015
SRM: 4 – 6 ABV: 4.8 – 6.0%
“Commercial Examples: DAB Export, Dortmunder Union Export, Dortmunder Kronen, Ayinger Jahrhundert, Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold, Barrel House Duveneck’s Dortmunder, Bell’s Lager, Dominion Lager, Gordon Biersch Golden Export, Flensburger Gold” 23

Premium American Pilsener:24

(The ultimate Uber Beer.) Most variations of this style of beer ostensibly draw their lineage from a golden bohemian or pilsener style beer, but many also may channel pilsener response beers like Helles, or Dortmunder Export. In short its very existence is both an affront to and the greatest compliment ever paid to Pilsener. Suffice it to say it is the world’s most maligned and popular beer. It is a lager, but beyond that it is defined by its lack of definable character. Diplomatically stated, strong flavours are the anathema of this style of beer. It should have limited hop bitterness, it should have limited malt sweetness, it should be smooth, crisp. and dry. 25 PAP should have the most even balance of malt and hops possible; so balanced in fact, that it may border on providing no discernable evidence that such items were used in the brewing process. They are high in carbonation and are best served very cold where any off flavors from the adjuncts is muted by the numbness you feel in your mouth.

The PAP category is so large, amorphous, and influential a beer style  that it is not only broken down into six major subcategories all of which provide examples of beer that may mimic pilseners or their other progeny while insulting their craftsmanship, but it even rates a historic era which runs essentially parallel with the Cold War. There is PAP; Super Premium American Pilsener, SPAP; Light Premium American Pilsener, LPAP; Light Super Premium American Pilsener, LSPAP; Standard American Pilsener, SAP; and Malt Liquor. Coloration ranges from very light piss to fairly light piss colour. Little to no aroma unless you have the nose of a Blood Hound.26“Comments: Strong flavors are a fault. An international style including the standard mass-market lager from most countries.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with high percentage (up to 40%) of rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.040 – 1.050
IBUs: 8 – 15 FG: 1.004 – 1.010
SRM: 2 – 4 ABV: 4.2 – 5.3%

Commercial Examples: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller High Life, Budweiser, Baltika #3 Classic, Kirin Lager, Grain Belt Premium Lager, Rolling Rock, Labatt Blue, Coors Original, Foster’s Lager,”27 Yuengling Premium

Super Premium American Pilsener – Because of the nature of PAP drinkers advertising executives recognized another market they wanted to tap and they wished to create product lines of “better than premium products,”28 Super was the initial adjective they settled on until they played it out in their focus groups. 29 For flavor expectations – see comments in Premium American Pilseners above, plus these directly from the BJCP,

“[Super]Premium beers tend to have fewer adjuncts than standard/lite lagers, and can be all-malt. Strong flavors are a fault, but [Super] premium lagers have more flavor than standard/lite lagers. A broad category of international mass-market lagers ranging from up-scale American lagers to the typical “import” or “green bottle” international beers found in America.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with up to 25% rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.046 – 1.056
IBUs: 15 – 25 FG: 1.008 – 1.012
SRM: 2 – 6 ABV: 4.6 – 6%

Commercial Examples: Full Sail Session Premium Lager, Miller Genuine Draft, Corona Extra, Michelob, Coors Extra Gold, Birra Moretti, Heineken, Beck’s, Stella Artois, Red Stripe, Singha,” 30  Yuengling Lord Chesterfiled Ale.

Standard American Pilsener – more of the same only less. More adjuncts, same alcohol content, more likely to have off flavours, especially at temperatures above freezing.

Commercial Examples – Red Dog, Busch, Keystone Draft, Piels, Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee’s (Have they no shame?!?!) Best, Schaeffer, Schlitz

Light Premium American Pilsener – Even more of the same with less of everything especially body and flavor in most cases. Discerning the difference between this stuff and seltzer water can be a task.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with high percentage (up to 40%) of rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics:     OG: 1.028 – 1.040
IBUs: 8 – 12     FG: 0.998 – 1.008
SRM: 2 – 3     ABV: 2.8 – 4.2%

Commercial Examples: MGD 60 Light,  Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light, Baltika #1 Light, Old Milwaukee Light. 31

Light Super Premium American Pilsener – Some of these almost taste and feel like beer. Some don’t. With the likely exception of Sam Adams, most of these were designed and developed primarily to attract the more  health conscience Super Premium niche that wanted a beer that, while not labeling them as outside the socially safe flavour norm of American beer options, clearly distinguishes them as more socioeconomically adept than their redneck Coors Light drinking brethren.

Commercial Examples: Bitburger Light, Sam Adams Light, Heineken Premium Light, Amstel Light, Corona Light, Michelob Ultra32

Malt Liqour – Really an American legal term to describe higher than legal labelling standard alcohol content in a beer. Many states started malt liquor at somewhere around 5.0% alcohol by volume. Malt Liqours as defined here mean Hyper alcohol charged PAP’s. Basically a PAP with grain alcohol added. If you look closely at many imports, they also have malt liquor somewhere on their label , rather than beer or ale, to avoid legal problems when selling in the United States. Nonetheless they are not the same as a PAP Malt Liquor,which is a uniquely “American” animal.

Commercial Examples – Colt 45, Country Club, Haffenreffer Private Stock,33 Mickeys Big Mouth Green, Schlitz Malt Liquor, Old English 800, Steel Reserve.

American Cream Ales:

Spawned from the depths of banality needed to compete with the growing popularity of the Premium American Pilsener style prior to Prohibition, Cream Ales would all but disappear in the Premium American Pilsener Era, alternatively referred to as the Cold War Era, which spanned the years of 1946 to 1984. Most use an ale yeast , but are either brewed at the lower lager temperatures, are finished with lager conditioning, lager yeast or have lager beer mixed in. Macro-brewers consistently use adjuncts which have a lightening or “smoothing” effect. Smaller craft brewers more recently have brewed all malt American Cream Ales. These brewers have also given their version a little more bittering and aromatic hop kick than their macro brew predecessors. Nonetheless, the colouring stays around Pale straw to pale gold color, similar to a Pilsener and the hop bitterness and aroma remains fairly low, even compared to a proper Pilsener. We at Tavernator also argue that a Cream Ale is really just a Kolsch by another name and a few minor changes in ingredients and a tad more carbonation.(Wikipedia agrees,) Among the many things Beer Advocate says about them is that they are “well attenuated.”34 Beer expert Timothy Dawson states they have a “high effervescence . . . [and s]ome low esters may be detectable.”35

“Commercial examples: Genesee Cream Ale, Little Kings Cream Ale, Molson Golden Ale, Weinhards Light American Ale.
O.G.: 1.044 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 7%; IBUs: 10 – 22; SRM: 2 – 4.” 36

Kölsch:

First or still only brewed in Köln, Germany.37U. S. Micro-brewers also claim to have produced this style, Harpoon Summer Ale being one of the more commercially available versions. It was a style that some believe was nearing extinction, but with the Micro-brew revolution hitting Germany, some have argued it is even making a comeback there. Dry, slight grape or wine or other slightly fruity or esther-like flavours, may be discernable. It is light bodied, “smooth,” with limited hop bitterness and aroma and a slightly dry finish. It can be produced from ale or lager yeast. Meant to be served cold, it is ale fermented and then lagered at cool temperatures for finishing. This lagering process probably increases the attenuation and certainly reduces the heavier fruitiness of ale fermented products that do not go through the lagering process. Maybe a bit hoppier than Cream Ale it is very refreshing, with fewer off flavours than Macro-brewed Cream Ales.

“Commercial Examples: Kueppers, Froeh, Sion, Gaffel Koelsch, Muhlen, Gilden, Dom Koelsch, Garde, Gereons, Kurfursten, Reissdorf, Sester, Zunft. United States Commercial Examples: Queen Anne’s Kolsch and Harpoon Summer Ale.
O.G.: 1.040 – 1.045; Alcohol: 4 – 5%; IBUs: 16 – 30; SRM: 3.5 – 10.” 38

Wheat Beers:

This is another large, ancient, and growing set of summer beers. Generally lighter in flavor and texture than Pilsner style lagers they have made their biggest  resurgence in The United States, having remained reasonably popular, as a clear second tier brew in their European homelands. Often flavoured with fruit and fruit syrups making them popular with women as well as men.

Weizenbier (or Weissbier) – Wheat beers traditionally hailing from southern Germany a/k/a Bavaria, which may explain why they were not exterminated under the purity laws. Light to medium bodied, lightly hopped, yeasty, highly effervescent, slightly sour with Dog whistle notes of clove and banana. The quintessential German summer beer. Often served with Lemon.  Generally at least 50% wheat malt, they  may be a bit cloudy, and this supposedly this is more common in the higher wheat content styles, up to 60%, which apparently is caused by the wheat protein. Ale fermented using wheat oriented yeast strains. Dog Whistle flavor likely to encounter when shrouded with a gaseous halo: Clove, vanilla, nutmeg, smoke and cinnamon. No diacetyl. Ranging in colur from light straw to amber.

“Commercial examples: Paulaner, Hofbrauhaus, Julius Echter Weizenbier, Edelweiss, Spaten Club-Weisse, Erdinger Kristall Weissbier, Schneider Weisse.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 8 – 14; SRM: 3 – 9.”39

Hefe-Weizen – Yeasty Weizen. It is bottle or keg conditioned with limited filtering to ensure it contains sediment and increase the likelihood of cloudiness. May use an ale or lager yeast for final conditioning.
“Commercial examples: Pschorr Weizen, Wurzburger, Paulaner Hefe-Weizen, Prince Luitpold Hefe-Weissbier, Erdinger Mit Feiner Hefe-Weizen, Schneider Hefe-Weizen.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 8 – 14; SRM: 3 – 9.40

Dunkel Weizen – The dark version of Weizenbier, generally a bit stronger. Ranging between deep copper to brown. Gaseous halo flavors/aromas include a Chocolate-like maltiness, light clove or banana, if present at all, and light hops. “The combination of wheaty tartness and the lusciousness of dark malts makes this style full of flavor and complexity.” Probably good for making sweet and sour pork.
“Commercial examples:EKU,Hecker-Pschorr Dark Wheat, Oberdorfer Dunkelweizen, Erdinger Dunkel Weizen.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055+; Alcohol: 4.5 – 6%; IBUs: 10 – 15; SRM: 17 – 22.41

Weizenbock – Medium to full bodied it is more powerful than Dunkelweizen containing 40-60% wheat, yet stressing the malt. Low on Hops dog whistles include clove and banana and a touch of alcohol should push through because of the higher alcohol content. Duh.
Commercial examples: Erdinger Pinkantus, Shneider Aventinius.
O.G.: 1.066 – 1.080; Alcohol: 6.5 – 7.5%; IBUs: 10 – 15; SRM: 7 – 30.42

Berliner Weisse – Sour Weiss Beer brewed in the Berlin style.43 Not likely to be found easily in the U.S.. And with good reason: “tart, refreshing, thirst quenching beer,” referred to by some as the “Champagne of Beers;”44 Often mixed with sweet syrups, it utilizes ale yeast and as much as 75% malted wheat. It is very bubbly, light bodied with an extremely pale color, a hint of fruitiness, producing a short lived foamy white head due to weak protein structure and no bitterness.45

“Commercial examples: Berliner Kindl Weisse, Schultheiss Berliner Weisse.
O.G.: 1.028 – 1.032; Alcohol: 2.5 – 3.5%; IBUs: 3 – 12; SRM: 2 – 4.”46

American Wheat Beer – standard ale yeast, although lager yeast is acceptable, they feature light grain flavors of wheat without the Bavarian dog whistles of banana and clove. Hoppiness can vary from high to low. It also comes in light and dark versions. Clearly the most indeterminable of all the wheat styles, it is typically American, it can be anything it dreams itself to be. Of course whether anybody else believes it has achieved its dream is an open question or whether they wish to risk their well earned money on this indeterminate dream is even more debatable.

“O.G.: 1.030 – 1.050; Alcohol: 3.5 – 5%; IBUs: 5 – 17; SRM: 2 – 4.” 47 Commercial Examples -Shock Top, Bud Light Wheat, Lucky Bucket Heartland Wheat

Wit or Belgian White Beer – A tangy “sharply refreshing”48 beer of low to medium body, brewed with up to 50% unmalted wheat. It also has malted barley and occasionally oats. Very white heads and hazy yellow white color is common. Spiced with hops, coriander seed and Curacao Orange peel those are flavors you may taste even without the assistance of a halo. Often bottle conditioned. Hoegarden and American variations on this style are rapidly making this the second most popular summer beer in the United States after the PAPs.
“Commercial examples: Hoegaarden Witbier, Celis White, Steendonk, Blanche de Namur, Titje, Wieckse Witte.” Blue Moon; Omegang Wit,
“O.G.: 1.044 – 1.050; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 20 – 35; SRM: 2 – 4.”49

Lambics There are five notable categories of Lambic, a very odd and ancient style of Belgian wheat beer. Generally 70% barley malt and 30% wheat, they rely upon natural or wild fermentation and are traditionally brewed only in the Senne Valley of Belgium. In other words, they do not put a specific yeast in to the wort, the yeast is whatever comes through the air or, some say more likely, from the wooden casks used to ferment them. They tend to be brewed only from October to May, because otherwise too many off tasting strains of yeast will get into them. The five categories are Gueuze, Faro, Unblended Lambic, Fruit Lambic and Kriek. (We at tavernator distinguish Kriek, a cherry lambic from other Fruit Lambic in that Kriek is almost a wine with the amount of fermented cherries in it. The other fruit Lambics,  framboise(raspberry), peche(peach), and cassis(black currant), while traditionally using whole fruit do not necessarily use a comparable amount fruit compared to the cherries in Kriek.) Lambics tend to be sour, even the traditional fruit ones, because they use whole fruit not just fruit syrups.50 The exception to this rule should be Faro a blended Lambic traditionally with sugar, molasses, or syrup added to sweeten it up and sometimes spiced with pepper, orange peel or coriander. Lambics have little to no hop bitterness because they use aged dried hops which lose much of the bittering characteristics while preserving their preservative characteristics. Unblended Lambics are just that and one would think would have more noticeably different characteristics and less evenness from year to year, much like a single malt scotch, but the aging process tends to mellow the tartness. Gueuze on the other hand are blended and then aged for an additional 2-3 years creating a drier fruitiness that may be even more intensely sour.
Big names in the Lambic business,which does not necessarily translate into big names in the brewing business include Girardin, Drie Fonteinin, Lindemanns, Timmerman, Cantillon, and Boon.51

Gose, originating in Leipzig, is the German response to the Belgian Gueuze or Gueuze is the Belgian response to Gose? (See Lambic’s above) This is another one of those medieval styles of beer that nearly went extinct except for a few taverns in and around Leipzig managing to keep it secretly alive while the reaiheitsgebot police rounded up the usual suspects. It is unfiltered “with 50-60% malted wheat, creat[ing] a cloudy yellow color, [kind of like a very sick old man’s piss,] and provid[ing] a refreshing crispness and twang.”52 Little to no hoppy bitterness, they are dry and spicy, from the common use of coriander and a sour sharpness from salt, unsure of timing, and lactic acid, in the boil, often being added. The original Gose may never have used hops depending upon its date of origin. Much like modern Lambics and Berliner Weisse, colorful and flavoured syrups are added to balance out the other influences.

ABV range: 4.0-5.0% [ ? ]

Gasthaus & Gosebrauerei Bayerischer Bahnhof’s Leipziger Gose, Upright’s Gose
Ernst Bauer’s Döllnitzer Rittergutsgose Leipziger, Portsmouth’s Gose , Racoon Lodge’s Cascade Spring Gose Cascade, Racoon Lodge’s Autumn Gose, Moonlight’s Sour Mash Wheat, Racoon Lodge’s
Cascade Winter Gose, Racoon Lodge’s Cascade Summer Gose, Dogfih Head’s Goser The Gosarian, Gose Draught House Pub & Brewery, Portsmouth’s Dunkel Gose
Herkimer’s Gose, Lowenbrau’s Döllnitzer Ritterguts Gose Mittweidaer, All Natural’s Opa’s Gose, Triumph’s Beau’s Gose, Golden City’s Goldener Gose, Brauhaus Goslar’s Helle Gose C. H. Evans’ Gose, Golden City’s Die Gosbier, [Colomba – Corsican White Beer].53

Vernal and Autumnal Varieties.54

Altbier – A dark German ale believed to have originated in Dusseldorf. It tends to be low hopped, but still retains a fairly bitter finish. Alt is German for old which may refer to the fact that it is fermented in the old style, i.e., top or ale fermented, around 5000 years old, as opposed to the new fermenting style, lager fermented which is only about 600 years old.5556

“Commercial examples: DAB Dark, Widmer, Zum Uerige, Grolsch Autumn Amber, Broyhan Alt, Brunswiek Alt, Alaskan Amber, Sapporo Alt, [Long Trail Ale].
O.G.: 1.040 – 1.050; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5.5%; IBUs: 28 – 40; SRM: 10 – 19.”.57

American Amber/Red Ale:

AAA, this is kind of like PAP, a description by default. It refers to any American Ale fermented beer, that does not qualify as a Dark Ale or a Pale Ale because of color.58 Ranging from amber (duh) to deep red or garnet hues, they can include American quasi-Marzen/Oktoberfest offerings, that are ale fermented, rather than lager fermented in the true Oktoberfest style. The flavor is definitely directed to the malt, but because they are so undefined outside of color, hop influence can range from near non-existent to bordering on IPA strength. Most examples tend to fall in the middle “with toasted malt characters and a light fruitiness in most examples” not wishing to offend their potential drinking public by being too flamboyant.59

He’Brew Genesis Dry Hopped Session Ale from Shmaltz Brewing Company Budweiser American Ale, Stone Levitation Ale, Rogue’s American Amber Ale, Ithaca’s Cascazilla and Mendecino’s Red Tail Ale

Average alcohol by volume (abv) range: 4.0-7.0% .60

Bocks – A true Spring beer, they range in color from dark amber to dark brown. Lager brewed and originating out of Einbeck Germany, Bocks are notable for their high alcohol content and malty sweet character. They tend to be full bodied and lightly balanced with hops leaving little bitterness. (A plus in a world where anger and recrimination seem to dominate the terminations of such relationships)(oops wrong blog site) An urban legend abounds about the origins and production of Bocks; that they are really the beers that are left when one gets to the bottom of the barrel of another beer. PAP seems like a logical impossibility, so our best guess is that they were ascribed to have derived from Marzen/Oktoberfest, but who knows, it is an urban legend so logic does not apply. The appearance of a goat on the label is ascribed to the Bavarian accent. Bavarian’s apparently adopted bock as a beer style, but their accent transliterated the term from Einbeck to Ein Bock which means a goat.61 Following other beer experts Tavernator has divided Bocks into five different styles: Bock, American Bock, Doppelbock, Eisbock and Mai or Helles Bock. (Although Tavernator has treated Weizenbock as a summer style wheat beer, its flavor and body characteristics may make it more appropriate as a Spring or Fall offering than an American Bock.62)

Bock – Same basic color, body, and flavor characteristics of Bocks generally, it is the dog whistles that may distinguish a Bock from it adjective yoked cousins. Dog whistles come in chocolate notes.63 “By German law, bocks must be of at least 1.064 gravity.” 64
Commercial examples: Aass Bock,65 Frankenmuth Bock.
O.G.: 1.064 – 1.074; Alcohol: 6 – 7.5%; IBUs: 20 – 30; SRM: 20 – 35.

American Bock – Emanating from the German communities in Wisconsin, and then making there way around the country, American Bocks are one of the few beers that pre-dated the Craft beer revolution and managed to survive the PAP white out of the post war years with multiple brewers. American Bock maintained its survival in the American market in typical American Beer fashion of the era, by presenting itself as a smoother,66 lighter bodied,67 and lower alcohol content68 version of their European cousins.(including Maibocks, see below) These are beers your grandfather may have drank in the United States as they pre-date the craft beer revolution. (Maybe this is where the bottom of the barrel legends came from.)
Commercial examples: Augsburger Bock, Shiner Bock, Rolling Rock Bock, Yuengling Bock.
O.G.:1.045 – 1.052; Alcohol:4.5 – 5.5%; IBUs: 18 – 25; SRM: 4.5 – 12.69

Dopplebock – the”ator” of Bocks, German law requires they have a 1.072 gravity or higher. They are higher in alcohol content and thereby fuller bodied, but more flexible in flavor and color characteristics. They can range from pale to dark amber and range from the intensely malty sweet to a malty sweetness balanced by hoppy bitterness, and likely a distinct taste of alcohol.

Commercial examples: Paulaners Salvator, Ayinger Celebrator, Spaten Optimator, Tucher Bajuvator, Augustiner Maximator, EKU Kulminator, Samichlaus, Lowenbrau Triumphator, Hacker Pschorr Animator.
O.G.:1.072 – 1.120; Alcohol:7.5 – 14%; IBUs:17 – 40; SRM:12 – 35.70

Eisbock – Amber to dark Brown with little detectable bitterness. Eisbock literally translates to Ice Bock. An Eisbock is a Doppelbock that is chilled until ice is formed, and the ice is removed, thereby removing water from the brew and enhancing the alcohol concentration in the brew. Obviously the strongest type of bock, it is, suffice it to say, very alcoholic. This process increases the sweetness and warmth . . . like a brandy delivered from the collar of a St. Bernard.

Commercial examples: Kulmbacher Reichelbrau Eisbock Bayrisch Gfrorns, EKU “28”.
O.G.:1.092 – 1.116; Alcohol: 10 – 14%; IBUs: 26 – 33; SRM: 10 – 40.71

Helles Bock or Maibock – Lighter in color, body, and taste, as well as lacking the chocolate notes, Helles or Maibock’s are the mild version72 of the European Bock family. They are also described as Helles on alcohol steroids. 73

Commercial examples: Ayinger Mai Bock, Pschorr Marzenbock, Sierra Nevada Pale Bock, Wurzburger Maibock, Hacker-Pschorr Maibock, Einbecker Mai Ur-Bock, Hofbrauhaus Maibock.
O.G.: 1.064 – 1.068; Alcohol: 6%; IBUs: 20 – 35; SRM: 4.5 – 6.74

British Brown Ales

Mild Ale – Designed to reduce unrest in the rough and tumble coal mining regions of England Wales and Cornwall it is very malty, with little hop flavor or aroma deep copper to dark Brown Paler and lower in alcohol content than Porter this was literally a beer designed for manual laborers to “consume mass quantities.”75 Mild Ale generally depended upon a blend of malts to achieve all of their characteristics.
Commercial example: McMullens AK, Fullers Hock, Highgate Mild, Banks Mild.
O.G.: 1.031 – 1.037; Alcohol: 2.5 – 3.6%; IBUs: 12 – 37; SRM: 17 – 34.76

English Brown Ale – stronger than mild Ales in malt, alcohol and body, they brek out into two distinctly geographically defined sub-categories, Southern and Northern Brown Ales.

Northen Brown Ales – Northern Brown Ales are generally dryer, paler, hoppier, nuttier, fuller bodied, higher in alcohol, and more famous than their southern brethren.

Commercial examples: High Level, Newcastle Brown Ale, Samuel Smiths Nut Brown Ale, Double Maxim.
OG.:1.040 – 1.050; Alcohol:4.5 – 6.5%; IBUs:15 – 30; SRM:12 – 30.77

Southern Brown Ale – Utilizing caramel malts Southern’s are darker, sometimes even opaque, more medium bodied, sweeter, fruitier, with less hops influence, aromatically and flavor wise, and generally do not have the international cache of the Northerners.

Commercial example: Manns Brown Ale. 78

American Brown Ale – Drier, more alcoholic, and more bitter than Northern Brown Ales American Brown Ales were adapted by American Home Brewers from English Brown Ales. Now they are craft brewed.
Commercial examples: Cooper Smiths Dunraven Ale, Harts Pacific Crest Ale, Petes Wicked Ale, Brooklyn Brown, Abita Turbodog.79 O.G.: 1.040 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 6.5%; IBUs: 25 – 60; SRM: 15 – 22.

Steam Beer or California Common Beer – Created in California around the 1890’s, it is an original American beer style. The contra-positive of American Cream Ales and Kolsch’s this is a brew using lager yeast fermenting at ale temperatures. Legend has it that when fermented, these beers produced so much carbonation that it looked like steam coming off the brewers wort. High to medium hop flavour, light amber to copper in clour, medium body wth a touch of maltiness, it is “commonly” compared to an India Pale Ale. The style only survived into the craft brew revolution through one brewer, Anchor.

Commercial examples: Anchor Steam, New England Atlantic Amber, Dampfbier.
O.G.: 1.044 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4 – 5%; IBUs: 35 – 45; SRM: 8 – 17.80

Oktoberfest/Marzen

One of the earliest lager beers to be produced, Marzen developed 200 to 300 years before the advent of industrial refrigeration.81 Pre-dating the advent of pilseners, Marzen’s immortality was solidified when it was served at the wedding of Crown Prince Ludwig, (later Ludwig I) of Bavaria, in 1810. The original Oktoberfest, which devolved into a local agricultural festival and then later became tied to German Unification(Reinheitsgebot Lebensraum) Day.82 Brewed in March, when the brewing season ended in Bavaria, some say because of the increased dangers of bacterial infection to the wort in the warmer months, others say fire hazards of brewing in Bavarian warm dry summers, they were, and generally still are, brewed with extra high alcohol content and tend to be on the dark amber side of the color divide. Marzen’s were stored in caves, often near a water source so they could more easily cut ice and provide additional cold storage for the summer lagering process. They were served in late summer or early autumn before they spoiled and became too undrinkable, but before the late September beers could be brewed, properly aged, and served.83 Modern Marzen range from pale, or Helles, to dark or Dunkel, with the American versions tending to shade to the original dark amber color. They tend to have more malty characteristics and although originally designed to store for long periods of time, they did not use a heavy hop profile in this beer even though knowledge of hops preservative characteristics seem to have been known at this beer’s inception. Instead they relied on high alcohol content. As a result of the low hop content and the relatively long storage periods, Oktoberfest/Marzen beers tend to get a little iffy after October, if they are brewed on schedule, in March. An Oktoberfest beer should be full bodied, rich in flavor with toasty hints of roasted squash or similar subtle autumn flavors,84 but have a fairly clean almost dry finish. Heavy syrupy malty bitter sweetness on the back end is an indication it is no longer fresh.

Most common ABV 5.0-6.0%65
Samuel Adams Octoberfest, Spaten Oktoberfestbier Ur-Märzen, Paulaner Oktoberfest-Märzen Ayinger Oktober Fest-Märzen, Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest-Märzen, Brooklyn Oktoberfest Beer Victory Festbier, Avery’s The Kaiser, Flying Dog’s Dogtoberfest, Hofbräu Oktoberfestbier Staatliches, Harpoon Octoberfest Beer, Beck’s Oktoberfest, Bell’s Octoberfest Beer,
Weihenstephaner Festbier, Leinenkugel’s Oktoberfest, Great Lakes Oktoberfest, Left Hand Oktoberfest, Saranac Octoberfest, Great Divide’s Hoss, Michelob Marzen. 85

Pale Ale

Originating out of Burton-on-Trent Pale Ale was Pilsener before their was pilsener. An “Uber-Beer” comparable to Pilsener or PAP, it was the world’s dominant beer in its hey-day and if you were serious about drinking beer in the early 1800’s you had to have had some variation of a Pale Ale. Rich hard water made it clearer and “enhanc[ed] the hop bitterness.”86 Ranging from golden to reddish amber in color with generally a good head retention mixing fruity, hoppy, earthy, buttery and malty aromas. Typically all English ingredients, if an English Pale Ale and if made elsewhere either uses English imported ingredients or local ingredients. This beer breaks down into five difficult to distinguish Tavernator categories. English Pale Ale, American Pale Ale, Bitters, British Cream Ale and India Pale Ale.

Average alcohol by volume (abv) range: 3.8-6.0%

English Pale Ale expect a balance of malt and hops with a slight emphasis on the malt, belying years of British suspicion of hops, originally a German import. The English versions also tend to have more of a buttery or creamy texture and also more aromatic. Typically all ingredients are English.

Commercial examples ; Bass Pale Ale, Fuller’s London Pride, Samuel Smith’s Old Brewery Pale Ale, Bell’s Pale Ale, Double Barrel Ale, Summit Extra Pale Ale, Black Sheep Ale (Special), Samuel Smith’s Organically Produced Ale, Abbot Ale Greene King, Innis And Gunn Oak Aged Beer(tastes like a touch of scotch is added to the beer.),Samuel Adams Boston (Stock) Ale 87

American Pale Ale – Generally, a bolder, hoppier, more in your face version of English Pale Ales. What distinguishes APA’s is their variety ranging from Samuel Smith’s Like offerings to nearly sweet and floral American style IPA’s. Some are really English, using all English ingredients except the water, others are very close using Locally grown English varieties of malt and hops and then others go with simply American style ingredients and balances.

Alpha King Pale Ale, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Samuel Adams Pale Ale, Sweetwater 420 Extra Pale Ale, Saranac Pale Ale, Brooklyn Ale / Pennant Ale ’55, Denver Pale Ale Great Divide Brewing Company. 88

Bitters, – arguably not even a Pale Ale, Bitters are served mostly on tap. Counterintuitively, bitters tend to have less hops than a classic Pale Ale. This may have to do with the fact that it was designed for keg service only, so it would get run out quicker without risk of spoilage.
Bitters themselves are broken down into three categories, Ordinary Bitters, Special Bitters and Extra Special Bitters.88. The ESB being the hoppiest of the three. That being said the key ingredient to Bitters is a “hearty smack” of hops. Usually Fuggles or Goldings.

Commercial examples: Ordinary Bitter Brakspear Ordinary Bitter, Youngs Bitter, Fullers Chiswick, Ballard Bitter.
O.G.: 1.035 – 1.038; Alcohol: 3 – 3.5%; IBUs: 20 – 25; SRM: 8 – 12.

Special Bitter – Sheffield Best Bitter, Theakstons Best, Fullers London Pride, Tom Sheimos Favourite.
O.G.: 1.038 – 1.042; Alcohol: 3.5 – 4.5%; IBUs: 25 – 30; SRM: 12 – 14.

Extra Special Bitter – Youngs Special, Adnams Extra, Red Hook ESB, Fullers ESB, Mitchells ESB, Theakstons XB, Redhook ESB. Ringwood Brewery Old Thumper
O.G.:1.042 – 1.055; Alcohol:4.5 – 5.5%; IBUs: 30 – 35; SRM: 12 – 14. 90

British Cream Ale -(This is a Tavernator only category) These are the Guinnesses of the Pale Ale categories. They tend to be very smooth and rich concoctions. Generally on the more subtle to non-existent end of the flavor spectrum they should always produce a tightly woven rich creamy head. In fact the head is what you want so if yours is served with little or no head we suggest sending back. The liquid itself also is richer, maybe even a bit buttery, maybe even more noticeable than on a standard pale ale

Boddingtons Pub Ale Boddingtons, Old Speckled Hen Greene King / Morland Brewery,
Tetley’s English Ale Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd

India Pale Ale – The first beer upon which the sun never set, India Pale Ale was developed specifically to support the British overseas empire. Too slake the thirst of their soldiers and officers, Britain initially tried to export the very popular Pale Ale, but in the trip to India far too much of it spoiled. To combat the spoilage issue, the Brits increased the alcohol and hops content of their pale ale and then shipped it all over the world in oak casks adding preservative tannins to the mix. The result was a brew more potent in flavor and alcohol content than its predecessor. In effect IPA was one of the first beers on steroids. Attaining a near legendary reputation, IPA’s would nearly disappear with the independence of India in 1948 and growing power of PAPs. Now the U.S may be the primary producer of IPA’s. They range from dry to sweet and floral and all should be 40 plus IBU’s with the hops content and some much higher.
Average alcohol by volume (abv) range: 4.0-7.0% [ ? ]

Harpoon IPA, Samuel Adams Latitude 48 IPA, Lagunitas IPA, Dogfishead 60 Minute IPA, Dogfishead 90 Minute IPA, Dogfishead 120 Minute IPA, Stone Brewing IPA, Sierra Nevada IPA. 91

Belgian Amber Ale Started by an English brewer who came to Belgium in the late 1800’s or to slake the thirst of British soldiers stationed in Belguim during World War I or both, they are designed to mimic British Pale Ales. Palm is the most commonly available brand of a Belgian Amber Ales. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_Belgium)

Vienna Lager

Nearly extinct in the city from which it derived its name, Vienna Lager would become the flagship style that helped lead the American craft brew revolution of the 1980’s -1990’s.92 It is also the beer of the “Most Interesting Man in the World.”93 Originally brewed by Anton Dreher in 1841 Brewed in a three part process involving decoction, it should have toasty elements and an amber to dark color similar to an Oktoberfest only with the sweet maltiness mellowed out and a fairly dry finish. Not as hoppy as a pilsner it would get cast to the wilderness of the beer world in the wake of the development of pilsener in Austria’s imperial hinterlands. No fruitiness or esters.94

Average alcohol by volume (abv) range: 3.5-6.5%

Samuel Adams Boston Lager, Great Lakes Eliot Ness, Dos Equis Amber Lager, Abita Amber, Negra Modelo, Leinenkugel’s Red, Blue Point Toasted Lager, Brooklyn Lager, Trader Joe’s Vienna Style Lager.95

Winter Brews

Barleywines

Arguably the First Beer on Steroids, Barley Wines are lively, fruity and contain rocket fuel level’s of alcohol, Barleywines or if you prefer Barley Wines are very flamboyant beers. What do you expect from a beer that calls itself “wine!” Comparable to a work of modern art, they are intense, complex, dark, colorful, and usually created by a person so full of himself it reflexively invokes your discharge gag reflex. Ranging from Amber to dark brown in color, featuring intense flavors determined by the brewmaster’s personal style; they can be lightly or intensely hopped, primarily sweet or bitter-sweet, aromas that attack your olfactory functions with aggressive fruit or hops96 and the mouth feel or viscosity of a 10w-40 grade motor oil. These are not session beers for temperatures above 50 degrees Fahrenheit because they will likely induce alcohol/heat induced spastic stomach convulsions, severe dehydration and death. Drinking barleywines as a session beer at temperatures below 50 degrees s also not strongly recommended as they will likely lead to rapid core body temperature drop, frostbite and death. In short these beers not suited to being session beers under any circumstances, and generally not suited to anybody’s taste except the most extreme beer drinker or someone who wants a guaranteed buzz and malt liquor just ain’t cutting it anymore. Generally top fermented, barley wines can be broken down in to two main categories, British and American, the main differences being American version generally have higher alcohol contents and almost invariably are “insanely hopped . . . typically using American high alpha oil hops.” 97

American Syle:Commercial Examples
Sierra Nevada’s Bigfoot Barleywine Style Ale; Victory’s Old Horizontal; Great Divide’s Old Ruffian Barley Wine; Avery’s Hog Heaven Barley Wine; Rogue’s XS Old Crustacean;
Dogfish Head’s Olde School Barleywine; Hair of the Dog’s Fred; Lagunitas’ Olde GnarlyWine;
Hair of the Dog’s Doggie Claws; Southern Tier’s Backburner (Imperial Barley Wine Style Ale);
Three Floyds’ Behemoth Blonde Barleywine98

English Style:Commercial Examples:
Anchor’s Old Foghorn, Brooklyn’s Monster Ale, Flying Dog’s Horn Dog Barley Wine Style Ale, J.W. Lees Vintage Harvest Ale, Weyerbacher’s Blithering Idiot
Avery’s Samael’s Ale, Clipper City’s Heavy Seas – Below Decks (Barley Wine Style Ale) Duck-Rabbit’s Barleywine Ale, Old Dominion’s Millennium Ale, Arcadia’s Cereal Killer Barley Wine, J.W. Lees Harvest Ale (Lagavulin Whisky Cask), Rock Art’s Ridge Runner, Midnight Sun’s Arctic Devil Barley Wine , Ridgeway’s Criminally Bad Elf, J.W. Lees Harvest Ale (Calvados Cask), Pelican’s The Perfect Storm / The Mother Of All Storms.99

Belgian Strong Ales – This is an all encompassing category of Belgian Ales that include Belgian Blondes, Abbey, Trappist, Dubbels, Trippels, Flemish Reds and Bruin or Brown Ales, both sour and sweet. What unifies the Belgian strong Ales is the amount of alcohol they contain. Also what unifies them is that you must have a high capacity for alcohol absorption to drink them as a session beer. What differentiates them is that even within a given category a Belgian Ale may use Gruit or hops or both as the primary post malt flavor enhancer. Often times a tripel or a dubbel or Abbey Ales. 100

Belgian Blonde or Golden Ale or Strong Pale Ales – Do not let the name fool you. These are strong, generally sweet heavy brews. Look at the names for the commonly associated with these Brews Duvel(Devil), Satan, Lucifer, and Judas or serious alcohol withdrawal symptoms, Delirium Tremens. They tend to seduce you in with a safe sexy style name like Blonde or Golden, the implication being that it drinks like a Pilsener yet instead they are what their brand implies hitting you over the head with high alcohol and often heavy sweetness. They may be spiced with coriander for example Chouffe, and may use dry hopping to add aroma and preservative effects of hops but not add hop bitterness to the beer. Walloon Brewers(the French speaking sections of Belgium like this style and the best known version is the “slightly hazy” Moinette.101

CommercialExamples: Duvel’s Duvel, Huyghe’s Delerium Tremens, Unibroue’s Don de Dieu, North Coast’s Prangster, Russian River’s Damnation, Goose Island’s Matilda, Brooklyn Brewery’s Brooklyn Local 1, Brasserie d’Achouffe’s La Chouffe, Bosteels’ Pauwel Kwak, Dogfish Head’s Pangaea, Avery’s Salvation, Brouwerij De Smedt/Affligem’s Affligem Blond, DeDolle’s De Dolle Stille Nacht, Stone’s 10.10.10 Vertical Epic.102

Flemish Oud Bruin
Being HUGE Boston Hockey fans, tavernator can not ignore this style, even if the Flemish meaning of Oud Bruin is old brown. Typical of a number of Belgian styles, they virtually defy definition because each example, sometimes brewed only a few miles apart,103 can be so different it raises a question as to whether it is a style at all. The only consistencies are the color, Brown, a general lack of hop flavor or aroma and that old and new Oud Bruin brews can be blended for consistency of flavour from year to year. Oud Bruins textures range from light to heavy and flavours range from sweet to sour, sometimes with spicy notes and sometimes a smooth drink. Because of this variability the placement of Oud Bruin in the Winter beer category remains largely arbitrary. It really depends upon which Oud Bruin you pick up.

Commercial Examples:
Van Steenberge’s Monk’s Café Flemish Sour Ale, Bavik’s Petrus Oud Bruin, Liefman’s Goudenband, Bavik’s Petrus Aged Pale, Deschutes’ The Dissident, Ommegang’s Ommegang Zuur, HaandBryggeriet’s Haandbakk, The Bruery’s Collaboration Series: Marrón Acidifié De Struise’s Aardmonnik – Earthmonk Van Honsebrouck’s Bacchus, Captain Lawrence’s Rosso E Marrone, Gulpener’s Mestreechs Aajt, Goose Island’s Madame Rose, Goose Island Beer Co. Kuhnhenn’s Kuhnhenn Cherry Olde Brune, Bockor’s Bellegems Bruin, Riva’s Vondel, De Dolle’s De Dolle Oerbier Special Reserva (by year)2008)104

Tripels

High in alcohol content, generally 8 to 12% Tavernator generally discourages members of the public from quaffing these monsters unless they wish to completely and utterly disregard their waistline and livers. Much like a well made frat house punch the drinker should not taste the alcohol, just sense its presence. The term tripel refers to the use of up to three times the normal amount of malt, the main source of alcohol in beer, than a standard Trappist ale.105 Bright yellow to golden in colour they look a bit like and certainly hit like a Belgian Blonde, the beer style that is. When poured into the proper glassware a big thick creamy head should await the drinker. The most consistent flavor should be sweetness, on the back end at least, stemming from the high alcohol and pale malt content. Other flavours such as spice, fruit/esters may be present depending upon the brewer’s interpretation of this style. These brews prefer bottle conditioning so searching for them on tap will probably prove fruitless.

Commercial Examples:
Unibroue’s La Fin Du Monde, Victory’s Golden Monkey, Chimay’s Chimay Tripel (White), Westmalle Trappist Abbey’s Westmalle Trappist Tripel, St. Bernardus’ St. Bernardus Tripel, Bosteels’ Tripel Karmeliet, Allagash’s Allagash Tripel Ale, New Belgium’s Trippel Belgian Style Ale, Allagash’s Allagash Curieux (Bourbon Barrel-Aged Tripel) Weyerbacher’s Merry Monks’ Ale, Duvel’s Maredsous 10 – Triple, Corsendonk’s Corsendonk Agnus / Abbey Pale Ale, Van Steenberge’s Augustijn Ale, Konigshoeven’s La Trappe Tripel, De Dolle’s De Dolle Dulle Teve (Mad Bitch), Van Steenberge’s Bornem Triple, Het Anker’s Gouden Carolus Tripel, Bell’s Sparkling Ale, Abbey St. Benedictus’ Trappist Achel 8° Blond, Anderson Valley’s Brother David’s Triple Abbey Style Ale.106

Dubbels

No this is not some odd Belgian variation of tennis, but a classic Abbey/Trappist Brown Ale.107 They run in the 6 to 9 % ABV range, although 8% seems like a good number based upon the names of the Belgian ones below, so any way you slice it, they can pack a wallop. They tend to be rich in texture, strong in malt flavour with some hop bitterness, but not of the lingering variety one should find in an IPA or pilsener. Wintery Spice notes are very common. Despite their relatively recent inception, Dubbels taste like they have been made since the middle ages with their heavy maltiness and wintery spice notes, tasting like they might be made with gruit.108These too are mostly bottle conditioned so they are rarely found on tap.

Commercial examples:
Rochefort’s Trappistes Rochefort 8, Ommegang Abbey Ale, Chimay Premiere,(Red Label), Westmalle Trappist Dubbel, St, Bernardus Prior 8, Allagash Dubbel Ale, Trappist Westvleteren 8, Goose Island’s Pere Jacques, New Belgium’s Abbey Belgian Style Ale Duvel’s Maredsous 8 Dubbel, St, Bernardus Pater 6, Corsendonk Pater/Abbey Brown Ale, Coor’s Blue Moon Winter Abbey, Alken-Maes’ Grimbergen Dubbel, Smuttynose Winter Ale, Van Steenberge’s Bornem Dubbel, Koningshoeven’s La Trappe Dubbel, St. Benedictusabdij de Achelse’s Trappist Achel 8° Bruin, Sierra Nevada’s Ovila Abbey Dubbel. The Lost Abbey’s Lost & Found Abbey Ale.109

Porters
Porters encompass essentially eight Tavernator categories of beer: Porter, Baltic Porter, American Porter, Irish Stout, Imperial Stouts International Stouts, and Oatmeal Stouts.110 First developed in the early 1700’s Porter became the first modern beer; a beer capable of being brewed in large, industrial size batches. It was this capacity for large production size that made Porter one of the first Uber Beers since Antiquity. Its range, being attached to the ever expanding British Empire, was world wide and its development adopted in numerous nations. They are placed in Winter beers, because of their strong flavour and texture, even though by most winter beer standards they are quite quaffable, and it is not uncommon to see a person quaffing some version of Porter in the summer. Porter would dominate the beer drinking world for nearly100 years.111

Porter – This is a top-fermented ale produced with a healthy dose of some form of dark roasted malt or less frequently dark roasted barley, and will most likely contain light or brown roasted malt or both as well.112 . Most Porters will have some dark roasted beverage flavour like coffee or smokiness, but the level will vary greatly from brewer to brewer. All should be full bodied and deep amber colour to a near opaque black. Generally moderately hopped, most of their flavour should come from the malt combinations the brewer chooses to use. Common dog whistle flavours will also be dark, like chocolate, caramel, or toffee. These flavours can be enhanced by the actual introduction of coffee, chocolate, etc., which is especially common in American Porters and numerous types of stout. Arguably the term Porter and Stout are redundant, both names deriving from the same original beer style. After all Guinness was Extra Superior Porter before 1840.113
Commercial Examples:
Samuel Smith’s – The Famous Taddy Porter, Fuller’s London Porter, Sam Adams Honey Porter, Harviestoun’s Old Engine Oil, Left Hand’s Black Jack Porter St. Peter’s Old-Style Porter, Meantime’s Coffee Arcadia London Porter Ridgeway’s Santa’s Butt Meantime’s London Porter, Mad Ariver’s Steelhead Scotch Porter, Yards’ General Washington’s Tavern Porter, Nogne O’s Porter, Nogne O’s God Jul, Mayflower Porter, Salopian’s Entire Butt English Porter, Darwin’s Original Flag Porter, Geary’s London Style Porter, Bluegrass’ Dark Star Porter, Nethergate’s Old Growler.114

American Porter – Much like other American style beers, the standard style rules do not apply. During the heyday of the PAP era 1955 to 1970, Yuengling produced one of the only commercially available Porters in America and it was not even a true Porter; Lager fermented and laden with corn adjunct, it was very dark, very smoky and richer than most other American fare of the time. It could have been derived from a variation on a German Dunkel recipe. After Yuengling came Anchor Porter in 1972, top fermented, no adjuncts, but fairly heavily hopped. This left a fairly wide interpretive space for future American brewers to fill with their own Porters. And fill it they did, during the ensuing craft brewing revolution, adding more hops, or highlighting dog whistle flavours by adding chocolate, coffee, vanilla or chipotle peppers to their interpretations.115 In short American Porter is sort of the Extreme Sports of Porters. Almost the dead opposite of traditional American Style brews which try to have their flavours go unnoticed American Porters will give you a strong smack of hops, or a distinct smokiness, chocolate, coffee or vanilla notes that even the tone deaf can hear. They may also be subtle, but like most Americans, they tend to favour direct and clear communication of their attributes.116

Commercial Examples:
Anchor Porter, Yuengling Porter, Butte Creek Organic Porter, Hoppin Frog’s Silk Porter, Ithaca’s Gorges Smoked Porter, Yazoo’s Sue, Magic Hat’s Ravell, Stone’s Smoked Porter With Vanilla Bean, Upland’s Bad Elmer’s Porter, Anderson Valley’s Deep Enders Dark Porter, Elysian’s Perseus Porter, Cisco’s Moor Porter, Utah’s Wasatch Polygamy Porter, Flying Fish Imperial Espresso Porter, Mikkeler’s Texas Ranger (Chipotle Porter), Lion’s Stegmaier Porter, Southampton Imperial Porter, Left Hand’s Fade To Black Volume 3 – Pepper Porter, Tyranena’s Benji’s Chipotle Smoked Imperial Porter, Sweetwater’s Exodus Porter, Short’s Black Cherry Porter, Narragansett’s Porter.117

Baltic Porter – Porter initially brewed for export to the Baltic Sea regions or Porter produced in the nations that ring the Baltic Sea: Denmark, Finland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Sweden, Russia, Poland and once upon a time East Germany; or some combination of both. Baltic Porters tend to be high in alcohol content, ranging around 7.0% ABV.118 Originally all top fermented, many of the brewers of these Porters, especially those on the continent, switched to Lager fermenting yeast, since they were probably brewing some sort of pilsener style beer, they could save on the yeast costs with the economies of scale. Smoke and bitterness should be notable flavours, with a touch of acid to even it out.119

Commercial Examples:
Flying Dog’s Gonzo Imperial Porter, Sinebrychoff Porter, Baltika #6 Porter, Victory’s Baltic Thunder, Okocim Porter (Okocim is a subsidiary of Carlsberg), Duck-Rabbit Baltic Porter, Smuttynose Baltic Porter (Big Beer Series), Southampton Imperial Baltic Porter, Olfabrikken Porter, Zywiec Porter, (Zywiec is a subsidiary of Heineken), Carlsberg Sweden’s Carnegie Porter, Flyin Dog’s Wild Dog Barrel-Aged Gonzo Imperial Porter, Boss’ Black Boss Porter, Harpoon Leviathan – Baltic Porter, Great Divide’s Smoked Baltic Porter, Ska’s Nefarious Ten Pin Imperial Porter, Surly’s Smoke, Svyturys -Utenos Alus’s Porter, Alaskan’s Baltic Porter, Shipyard’s Imperial Porter.120

Irish, or Dry Stout – The reigning King of Porters, it is, obviously, a style developed in Ireland. Rich in texture, yet light to medium bodied, creamy head, opaque black in colour, it has a surprisingly smooth dry slightly coffee-like flavour. The use of unmalted roasted barley tends to set it apart from other stouts and porters, creating that distinctive smooth, dry coffee-like flavour. Some malty sweetness may be evident. The hops are minimal, leaving no aroma or flavour, but their bitterness blends with the dark malts accentuating its subtle character.

“Commercial examples:
Guinness, Guinness Extra Stout, Sierra Nevada, Murphys Irish Stout, Beamish Stout, Old No 38, Black Hawk Stout, Shef Stout, Rainbow Trout Stout.
O.G.: 1.036 – 1.055; Alcohol: 3 – 6%; IBUs: 25 – 40; SRM: 35 +.” 121

Sweet Stout – Hailing form the English side of the islands (Britain and Ireland), Sweet stout achieves its character with lower total grain than Irish stout. Nonetheless it tends to have an almost heavy chocolate-caramel sweetness with hints of coffee and roast. Light hopping(relative to the style and amount of malt), Chocolate malt, and milk sugar(lactose) creates this oddly balanced dark opaque style of stout. Sometimes referred to as “‘Farm Stout’, ‘Milk Stout’ and ‘Cream Stout’.

Commercial examples:
Mackeson Stout, Sweetheart Stout, Watneys Cream Stout, Samuel Adams Cream Stout.
O.G.: 1.038 – 1.056; Alcohol: 4 – 6%; IBUs: 15 – 25; SRM: 35 +.”122

Oatmeal Stout – Essentially sweet stout with oatmeal added increasing fullness both of body and flavor often describes as smoother, silkier with a touch of nuttiness added to the caramel chocolate coffee roastiness.

“Commercial examples:
Samuel Smiths Oatmeal Stout, Barney Flats Oatmeal Stout, Youngs Oatmeal Stout, Lacto Milk Stout. O.G.: 1.038 – 1.056; Alcohol: 4 – 6%; IBUs: 15 – 25; SRM: 35 +.”123

International Stout – Oddly enough international stouts were often brewed for tropical markets, so they brewed them slightly heavier and stronger than the Irish variation. They can range between stronger versions of a dry stout to something bordering on a sweet stout. They are brewed with more malt and then additional hops are thrown in to balance them out. When original gravities exceed 1.060 some say dryness becomes impossible to maintain and the malt begins to take control.124 http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

“Commercial examples:
Dragon Stout, ABC Stout, Lion Stout.
O.G.: 1.050 – 1.070; Alcohol: 5.5 – 7%; IBUs: 25 – 60; SRM: 35 +.”125http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

Imperial or Russian or Imperial Russian Stout – The precursor to the International Stout, it is deliberately stronger and more robust than a dry stout. Heavily hopped and starting with higher original gravity, more malt, it is higher in alcohol and more bitter, much like an IPA, these characteristics helped it export well to far away shores, like Imperial Russia. Very dark to black, full bodied with a smoky or burnt fruit flavor should be noticeable. Cocoa or coffee may also be present. One may also notice the alcohol, a rich maltiness and other subtle fruity flavors.126.

“Commercial examples:
Samuel Smiths Imperial Stout, Grants Imperial Stout, Courages Imperial Russian Stout.
O.G.: 1.075 – 1.095+; Alcohol: 7 – 9+%; IBUs: 50 – 90+; SRM: 20 – 35 +.”127

Scottish Ales

Traditionally, Scottish ales broke down into four categories based upon the old British Shilling system; 60 shilling- light; 70 shilling – heavy; 80 – 90 shilling – export; and 160 shillings – for Scotch Ales. Tavernator, in an uncharacteristic maneuver will consolidate this traditional nomenclature to two styles Scottish Ales and Scotch Ales. Both Scottish and Scotch Ales worts are carmelized through a traditional long boiling process in the wort kettle, creating a deeper amber or copper to brown color. The carmelization makes many of the malt sugars unfermentable providing greater malt aroma and flavor potency while creating a richer mouth feel. Like many of their British and Irish brethren hops tend to be limited imparting a light floral or herbal aroma and flavour allowing the malt to dominate the brew. Smoky characters may range from the dog whistle level to the straight off the grill variety.128

Scottish Ales
All of the above just not to the extremes of a Scotch Ale.

Commercial Examples:
Oskar Blues Old Chub – Scottish Style Ale, Belhaven Scottish Ale, Three Floyds’
Robert The Bruce Scottish Ale, Brooklyn Winter Ale, Odell 90 Shilling Ale, Bell’s Christmas Ale, Erie’s Railbender Ale, Belhaven’s St. Andrew’s Ale, Long Trail’s Hibernator Ale,
Orkney’s Dark Island Ale, Four Peaks Kiltlifter Scottish Style Ale, Inveralmond Blackfriar Ale,
Appalachian’s Jolly Scot Scottish Ale, Middle Ages Duke Of Winship, Breckenridge’s 471 ESB,
Orkney’s The Red MacGregor Ale, Ommegang’s Cup O Kyndnes (Cup Of Kindness), Broughtons’ Black Douglas Ale, Caledonian 80.129http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/68

Scotch Ale

Often referred to as Wee Heavy, Scotch Ales generally stronger, heavier, more full bodied and higher in alcohol content than their Scottish brethren. The maltiness, both caramel and roasted, as well as the smokiness will be more pronounced as well. They may also carry a bitterness not unlike tea. “Thistle” glasses improve the service.

Commercial Examples:
Founders Dirty Bastard, Orkneys Skull Splitter, Founders Backwoods Bastard,
Samuel Adams Scotch Ale, Belhaven’s Wee Heavy, Traquair House Ale, McEwan’s Scotch Ale, Traquair Jacobite, Moylan’s Kilt Lifter Scotch Ale, Dark Horse Scotty Karate Scotch Ale,
AleSmith Wee Heavy, Duck-Rabbit Wee Heavy Scotch Style Ale, Smuttynose Scotch Style Ale, Great Divide’s Claymore Scotch Ale, Arcadia Scotch Ale, Scotch Silly Brasserie de Silly S.A., Pike’s Kilt Lifter Scotch Style Ale, Highland Tasgall Ale, Lake Louie Warped Speed Scotch Ale, Dieu Du Ciel’s Équinoxe Du Printemps.130http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/77

1. Background information was forcibly expropriated from the following, comparatively, reliable sites: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/ ; http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm ; http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style02.php ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/;

2. This will create absurdly arbitrary lines of demarcation that are sure to spawn dissatisfaction and disagreement among serious beer-heads with the entire project. If we are lucky it may even lead to the occasional bar fight. To further the annoyance and frustration with this project we will be publishing the definitions in incomplete form until we get around to finishing them completely and randomly change or contradict or both earlier definitions without explanation or edification.

3. Among Premium American Pilseners (PAP’s) Anheuser Busch’s, now In Bev’s, Budweiser tastes very different than Rolling Rock, another In Bev product. Budweiser uses rice as an adjunct grain and Rolling Rock uses both rice and corn. In speaking to people about the flavor of Corona without the ceremonial lime, another PAP despite its Mexican origins, some say it has a distinct bitter aftertaste or finish while others sense a distinct citrus note to its after taste or finish.(Maybe it is the psychosomatic effects of the ceremonial limes.)

4. “Dog Whistle” flavors – See Definitions

5. Unless you are french kissing, or performing cunnilingus or fellatio.

6. Unless it’s Coors Light, then stop and find something else. “Friends don’t let friends drink Coors Light.” To refine an old Latin saying, which is kind of redundant because any saying from ancient Rome is inherently old, “Mal degustobus non disputandem.” There is no point in arguing with poor taste.

7. Of course most beer connoisseurs are inveterate Anglo-philes who think a good night of entertainment is watching Sir Alistair Cooke introduce an episode of “Masterpiece Theatre.” They are really only looking justify the habit of serving English beer warm. The rest of us know the real answer to this one, British protectionist policies forced England’s dependence upon Lucas Electronics, a/k/a the “Prince of Darkness,” for everything from cars to refrigeration. The resulting inconsistency forced the British to serve their beer warm rather than risk it be spoiled by the constant change in temperature. Proof positive that government should not interfere with the invisible hand of the market.

8. The term is a fabulously clever combination of classical Marxist economic terminology with the ancient concept of the androgen, someone with no discernable sexual characteristics or personal characteristics contrary to their gender. (The use of “fabulously clever” is painfully bourgeoigenous)

9. “Wallace Stevens (October 2, 1879 – August 2, 1955) was an American Modernist poet. He was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, educated at Harvard and then New York Law School, and spent most of his life working as a lawyer for the Hartford insurance company in Connecticut.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Stevens “At work all day on [reviewing] contract instruments and actuarial tables . . .” http://www.kevinstevens.net/writings/wallacestevens.htm

“Dunbar loved shooting skeet because he hated every minute of it and the time passed so slowly. He had figured out that a single hour on the skeet-shooting range with people like Havermeyer and Appleby could be worth as much as eleven-times-seventeen years.
‘I think you’re crazy,’ was the way Clevinger had responded to Dunbar’s discovery.
‘Who wants to know?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I mean it,’ Clevinger insisted.
‘Who cares?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I really do. I’ll even go so far as to concede that life seems longer I -‘
‘- is longer I -‘
‘- is longer – Is longer? All right, is longer if it’s filled with periods of boredom and discomfort, b -‘
‘Guess how fast?’ Dunbar said suddenly.
‘Huh?’
‘They go,’ Dunbar explained.
‘Years.’
‘Years.’
‘Years,’ said Dunbar. ‘Years, years, years.’
‘Clevinger, why don’t you let Dunbar alone?’ Yossarian broke in. ‘Don’t you realize the toll this is taking?’
‘It’s all right,’ said Dunbar magnanimously. ‘I have some decades to spare. Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’
‘And you shut up also,’ Yossarian told Orr, who had begun to snigger.
‘I was just thinking about that girl,’ Orr said. ‘That girl in Sicily. That girl in Sicily with the bald head.’
‘You’d better shut up also,’ Yossarian warned him.
‘It’s your fault,’ Dunbar said to Yossarian. ‘Why don’t you let him snigger if he wants to? It’s better than having him talking.’
‘All right. Go ahead and snigger if you want to.’
‘Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’ Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. ‘This long.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.’
‘Old?’ asked Clevinger with surprise. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Old.’
‘I’m not old.’
‘You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?’ Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.
‘Well, maybe it is true,’ Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. ‘Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?’
‘I do,’ Dunbar told him.
‘Why?’ Clevinger asked.
‘What else is there?’”
http://paul.kedrosky.com/archives/2005/04/dunbar_investin.html excerpted from Joseph Heller’s CATCH-22.

“Est Amor pro Tabelleo Recenseo” the unofficial motto of New York Law School

10. “Dog Whistle” flavors is a term imparted to Tavernator.com by a man whose beer expertise is so essential to the continued national security of this nation that it would violate 15 levels of the National Security Code to reveal his true identity, so he can only be referred to by his sub-level 6 code name, Ice-Berg, even in this highly sensitive and most patriotic publication.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell . . . Dungggg! (Monty Python)

11. In fact one style of Lager beer, more specifically pilsener, became so popular that it was slowly extinguishing all other styles of beer, not designed to mimic its main characteristics, throughout the world. Then after World War II, advanced refrigeration made it possible for American Brewers to cut back on the more expensive formulations of beer, even their vaunted pilsener. They used heavily subsidized grain adjuncts like rice and corn and served them at such cold temperatures, anaesthetizing the drinkers taste buds so that they did not even notice it had no flavor. Then they took the savings on ingredients, plowed it back into advertising and drove out most of the competing brewers and almost all of the competing styles. Hence the birth of the Premium American Pilsener or PAP. Proof positive that the invisible hand of the market is so destructive that government intervention to halt its cancerous growth is essential for human survival.

12.  No, not that German Purity Law! . . . the beer purity law.

13. Yeast, although fully existent, was unknown to brewers of the age, largely to be discovered only hundreds of years later by scientists like Louis Pasteur and therefore not included in the law. Prior to its scientific discovery Brewers brought yeast into beer by taking sediment from previously brewed beer and adding it to the new wort.

14. The Germans seemed to follow this pattern on more than one occasion. They would test market a purity law in Bavaria and if they thought it would fly they shoved it down the throats of the rest of the country.

15. 1988 to be exact.

16. For more information see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot

17. Reinheitsgebot – See definitions. (Are we Dicks or what?)

18. http://www.franklinbrew.org/brewinfo/srm.html

19. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

20. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

21. “Just a Kiss of the hops” An advertising concept for Schlitz in the 1950’s and early ‘60’s to justify their not spending money on putting hops in your beer. Could well be applied to Munich Helles as well, but for very different reasons. Who knows maybe Schlitz was a PAP variation of Helles. See “Cold War Beer” at http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?p=119

22. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

23. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

24. (The Holy Roman Empire of Beers, (It was not holy, it was not Roman and it was definitely not an empire.) It is not Premium, i.e., the very best to be offered; they are cut down with lesser alcohol producing grains like rice or corn rather than go with pure barley malt to make them “smoother.” Moreover the term “Premium” was really applied to most of these beers as an advertising ploy; The fact is many of these companies marking their beer as premium have another beer which is meant to be superior, which is not possible if it is truly premium; it is not “American” in that now most nations world wide produce some variation of this style of beer and most of those beers are the biggest sellers in their country(See Commercial examples below and the BJCP website); and it is definitely not pilsener. It does not have sufficient flavor, does not use the correct ingredients and is just generally a “hot mess”* as far as beer is concerned. That being said, if you do not have a favorite PAP, or some variation thereof, you probably never drank beer in the past 100 years.)

*Hot Mess is Proletandrogenous – i.e. working class androgenous. Although popularized by the most successful female member of bourgeoisie it is clearly “street” or “ghetto” speak and even in our classless society, because everybody is middle class here, the “ghetto” or the ” street” remain the proles and that is much of the charm, to the bourgi’s of such a phrase.

25. Those brewed with corn may give off a taste of corn alcohol, especially then drinking a PAP after drinking an all barley malt brew. Rice brewed PAP’s tend to be even smoother leaving only light hops, but they are a real break from the true “American” tradition of corn brews, first developed by the Incas. (Only without the malted barley and hops.) Even these beers can leave off flavours when drank in tandem with their all barley malt cousins.

26. Yet despite all that they quench a hot thirst like no other beer and are so light in alcohol flavour, etc., you hardly realize you drank one before moving onto the next. “Schaeffer . . . is the . . . one beer to have, when your having more than one!” From an advertising perspective, the target audience PAP drinker is a white male “Old Glory” flag waving,* xenophobe who thinks the country is going to hell in a hand basket because the President of the United States is a black man with a Arab (long a) name whose government won’t keep their hands off his Medicare, Social Security, and his pipe dreams of imperialist glory in Iraq and Afghanistan.

*Confederate flags are an acceptable alternative, Nazi flags are, please excuse the oxymoron here, a bit gauche.

27. “http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php”

28. It is hard not to laugh because it is such an abuse of the English language to create a product that is superior to your “premium product.”

29. These group results found the following about the target audience – college educated yuppies who really only wanted to broaden their wallets so they can lord it over the Jones’s, but not their intellectual horizons: In other words white male near-“Old Glory” flag waving coded- xenophobes who think the country is going to hell in a hand basket, but who speak in euphemisms and code phrases so as to distinguish themselves as socio-economically superior to their actually-flag waving brethren, but not be so outside the socially acceptable norms of mother god and country and be confused with pointy headed intellectual beerheads. These yuppies had, surprisingly enough, sufficient intellectual sense, from more than a decade of pounding it in them, that the inherent redundancy of “Super Premium” made them feel vaguely uncomfortable. It was as though such advertising language would not only attract them to the product, but also their actually-flag waving brethren defeating the whole purpose of drinking the product for them; i.e. to drink a product with sufficient brand implications to induce the appearance of superior socio-economic position, yet without sufficient flavor distinction to risk looking like some sort of weirdo beerhead. In other words Super PAPs have little discernable difference than a PAP other than brand identification.

30. www.bjcp.org See BJCP definition of a Premium American Lager. We at Tavernator.com take umbrage with the BJCP definition for engaging in unnecessary descriptive accuracy. It completely ignores the milllions of dollars poured into brand positioning of the various forms of PAP to dissuade the drinker from actually noticing that the flavour profile of every product they drank was essentially the same. This kind of ubiquitous disinformation campaign, whose effective subtlety so clearly outstripped the pervasive persuasiveness of the Soviet propaganda machine, and may very well have have lead to its demise, needs to be cherished as as a foundational element of our shared belief in the American system as a bastion of freedom of choice.

31. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

32. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

33. Apparently the modern Boston Brewery of Sam Adams fame, was the old Haffenreffer Brewery, which had bought out the original Boston Brewery. Private Stock is not currently available, but it may make a comeback. http://www.falstaffbrewing.com/haffenreffer.htm

34. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/6, http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style06.php, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_ale; If you read this definition before, your eyes are not deceiving you it did originally read “Spawned from the depths of banality that marked the Premium American Pilsener Era, alternatively referred to as the Cold War Era, which spanned the years of 1946 to 1984.” Further review of the facts: The Editors recalled that Yuengling once produced Olde Oxford Cream Ale in the 1930’s; and further review of the the bjcp website above; commanded the modification of this sentence.

35. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm Effervescence, such a wonderfully Anglo description for carbonation and esthers are a sort of alcohol that tends to give off fruit aromas and flavors or for some people a cheap alcohol flavour.

36. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

37.  Choose your source. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style.php/85/?start=20, http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%B6lsch

38. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

39. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

40. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

41. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

42. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

43. The Prussian answer to Lambics.

44. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm this product not only impinges upon the iconic Miller High Life’s  trademark phrase, but threatens the Mike’s Hard Lemonade market.

45.  Sounds like a forgettable sexual encounter with an effervescent moderately bourgeoigenous Kraut Goth. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

46. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

47. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

48. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm “Sharply refreshing” another wonderfully Anglo turn of the phrase, that sounds like it is saying something, but really isn’t. After all how sharp? Sharp enough to cut through those caked on levels of sand, dead skin and dried saliva after you come off the Sahara spending the day in  a dead camel’s rotting stomach to avoid the high heat? I suspect not. Once again one of those “beer expert” phrases that seem to be accompanied by halos. (See Definitions Dog Whistle Flavors.)

49. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm.

50. The non-traditional ones using fruit syrup tend to be noticeably sweeter and some enthusiasts feel it is undermining the whole genre. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic

51. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/14
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/50
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/15
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/10
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic

52. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16

53. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16. Also Tavernator ran across Colomba Corsican White Beer, at Bacchus in Brooklyn, which is may be more similar to a Wit or Hefeweizen, but it does not use Orange and coriander, but herbes du maquis (strawberry tree, myrtle, cistus, and juniper). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pietra; Pietra offers a couple of other potentially fascinating brands, that we have not had a chance to imbibe.

54. (The Editors – Who was the pompous asshole who decided to go with “Vernal and Autumnal” rather than “Spring and Fall?”)(It refers to the Equinoxes upon which these seasons are defined you redundant Philistines. – Beertheostorian A)(The Editors – He is still buying the beer these days right? No need to remind him that modern archeological evidence indicates that the philistines were the cultured cosmopolitan and educated ones compared to their sheep herding country bumkin brethren the Isrealites.)

55. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lager Altbier is Lager or cold cave, now refrigerator, aged. It is this combination of top fermenting and cold aging, along with the use of older style darker malts, that limits its fruitiness, but provides a malty bittersweet clean dry finish.

56. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

57. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

58. (The Editors – Do you think they prefer to be called Bi-chromatic Ales?)

59. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/128

60.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/128 (This wide variation in abv is typical of a beer which lacks any trace of a distinct heritage and really can’t decide which side of the color divide it belongs. – Beertheostorian A)

61. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bock

62. Its flavor and body characteristics may make it a more appropriate offering than an American Bock, any time of year.

63. preferably in A flat. “Dog Whistle” Flavors – Flavors so faint that like a dog whistle, only non-humans can taste them. Also like dogs who use their heightened senses of smell to identify and introduce themselves to other dogs by smelling each others butts, most pompous beer experts like to identify and introduce most of these flavors while shrouded in a gaseous halo of crap.

64. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

65. Does not taste like shit.

66. less flavourful

67. More watery

68. Like making love in a canoe by comparison. (What is the similarity between American beer and making love in a canoe: it is fucking close to water! See Monty Python.)

69. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

70. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

71. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

72. weak sisters of the European Bock family. They are also described as Helles on alcohol steroids.

73. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bock See also Helles description above in Summer beers

74. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

75. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coneheads

76. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

77. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

78. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

79. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

80. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

81. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marzen

82. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oktoberfest

83. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marzen

84. Talk about a smarmy dog whistle description there. (The Editors)

85. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/29

86. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97 (Until recently, around the mid 1990’s it was still the equivalent of pilsener in England. Now England has discovered the wonders of Pilsener and other more exotic beers, and it’s market share has reduced considerably. On the other hand Pale Ale is now the pilsener of American Beer aficianados, a popular fall back position for a session beer if not the number one session beer. )

87. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/154

88.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97

89. “Ordinary Bitters – Medium gold to medium copper-brown. Grain and malt tend to predominate over hop flavor and bitterness (altough there are exceptions) with enough hop aroma to balance and add interest. Light to medium body. Special Bitters – Similar to an ordinary bitter, but stronger and more robust with a more evident malt flavor and hop character. A full-bodied, robust copper colored beer with a maltier, more complex flavor than either the ordinary or special bitter.” http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

90. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97

91. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

92. Samuel Adams Boston Lager I

93. Dos Equis Amber series of commercials. Likely loosely based upon the lives of the authors Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ernest Hemingway.

94. Despite the potential fruitiness of the “Most interesting man in the world.” Not appropriate for a lager brewing company, better for an ale producer like Sierra Nevada.(The Editors)

95. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/30

96. Use of a gun in self defense is not recommended here. But See Monty Python “Self defense against Fresh Fruit” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RKTSwAVaoU http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_Defence_Against_Fresh_Fruit.

97. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/19 American Barleywine http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/152

98.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/19

99.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/152

100. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_Belgium; http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

101.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/55; http://www.netplaces.com/home-brewing/hops-putting-the-bitter-in/putting-the-bite-in-your-beer.htm

102. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/55

103. (Beertheostorian A) Of course it is only a few miles apart, it is friggin Belgium! It is not even the whole of Belgium!

104. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/52

105. These style ales also often have Belgian Candy sugar thrown in further increasing the fermentable substances available to turn to alcohol and create a lighter body for such a rich beer. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/58

106.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/58

107. Wikipedia reports that it was first developed in the 19th Century at the Westmalle monastery. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_Belgium

108. a combination of herbs and spices used as beer flavor enhancer prior to the rise of hops.

109.http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/57

110. You can add in various flavoured stouts and Porters as well, that will not be addressed directly here. Vanilla, chocolate, coffee being some of the most common flavors, there is even a fantastic Oyster Stout brewed in Ireland and served in NYC. Porter and stout today seem to be the style of beer craft brewers wish to dress up with something different. Maybe it is the heavy strong flavors that attract the experimentation.

111. Porter replaced the ancien regime of inconsistent and wide ranging varieties of Brown Ales which were the only available beer in the era and whose recipes have for the most part long disappeared from the brewing world along with the varied and small breweries which produced them. Ultimately, Porters would come perilously close to suffering the same fate as the Brown Ales of yore which they replaced in so many areas, in a slow process that started before they even reached their zenith. First Pale Ales, developed half a century later, displaced them in their homeland of England; then Pilseners, appearing in the 1840’s, shattered their dominance everywhere in the world, except Ireland; finally Premium American Pilsener’s after World War II drove them, with numerous other styles, to near extinction. As a result Porters struggled to maintain their presence and identity until the mid to late 1990’s when they too received a revitalizing jolt from the craft brew revolution.

112. The term roasted for Light, Brown, and Dark Roasted malts refers to the kiln drying process applied to malts to terminate the germination process. This can range from around 131 degrees Fahrenheit, for light or pale roasted malts to 450 degrees for Black patent malt. This should not be confused with dark roasted barley, which is unmalted barley roasted at fairly high temperatures, and is often used in a variety of dark brews being less expensive because it requires less processing. Sufficient alcohol is derived from the other malts used in these dark brews. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malt http://allaboutbeer.com/learn-beer/home-brewing/brewing-instructions/2011/03/dark-roast-please/

113. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer)

114. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/101

115. Tavernator’s all time favorite offering in this area is the dearly departed Ruffian Porter produced by Mountain Valley Brew Pub, founded in 1992 by Lon Lauterio. http://www.jackcurtin.com/liquiddiet/asn/distribution.htm Like many ventures in the first and second waves of the craft brew revolution, or the history of business generally, it could never produce a consistently large enough customer base to offset the extensive capital outlay needed for the brewing operations. What made Ruffian so special was that it had the distinct chocolate notes without adding chocolate to the brew. Another favorite of the Tavernator crew is Yuengling Porter, not because it is the greatest Porter, but because it was one the few dark brews available in the nadir of the PAP era of absolute dominance, circa 1981 – 1982. Android while sitting in the JHU grad Club sipping on a Yuengling Porter said to Dr. Janet Kueblar, after she mentioned the Sam Adams was not only a revolutionary, but a brewer. Android said, “You know what America needs, a great flavourful beer and name it Sam Adams. Ideally it should be brewed in Boston and the label should read; Sam Adams ‘Brewer, Revolutionary’ to remind the US of its radical roots.” As we all know, Jim Koch was sitting in the JHU grad that night and two to three years later he was brewing sam Adams in Boston.

116. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/159

117. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/159

118. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/80, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer): Some historians believe the high alcohol content was for preservative effect as British brewers began to want not only to supply local pubs, but also to expand their market internationally. It is clear that this style was brewed in Baltic nations as well, but the question is which came first, Baltic breweries producing Baltic Porters or and British breweries following their lead or British breweries producing and exporting Baltic Porters and Baltic brewers deciding they wanted in on the action.

119. Sounds more like a chemical fire than a brew. Despite this description they can be quite pleasant.

120. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/80.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer)

121. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

122. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

123. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

124. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

125. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

126. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm “The fruitiness is reminiscent of the burnt currants on the edge of a cake that has just been removed from the oven, or the Christmas pudding in Britain, heavy with dried and candied fruits. The alcohol suggests that the cocoa or coffee, pudding or cake, has been laced with spirit.”

127. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

128. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/68; http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/77

129. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/68

130. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/77

Background information was forcibly expropriated from the following, comparatively, reliable sites: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/ ; http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm ; http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style02.php ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/; http://www.franklinbrew.org/brewinfo/srm.html
This will create absurdly arbitrary lines of demarcation that are sure to spawn dissatisfaction and disagreement among serious beer-heads with the entire project and if we are lucky even lead to the occasional bar fight. To further the annoyance and frustration with this project we will be publishing the definitions in incomplete form until we get around to finishing them completely and randomly change or contradict or both earlier definitions without explanation or edification.
Among Premium American Pilseners (PAP’s) Anheuser Busch’s, now In Bev’s, Budweiser tastes very different than Rolling Rock, another In Bev product. Budweiser uses rice as an adjunct grain and Rolling Rock uses both rice and corn. In speaking to people about the flavor of Corona without the ceremonial lime, another PAP despite its Mexican origins, some say it has a distinct bitter aftertaste or finish while others sense a distinct citrus note to its after taste or finish.(Maybe it is the psychosomatic effects of the ceremonial limes.)
“Dog Whistle” flavors – See Definitions.
Unless you are french kissing, or performing cunnilingus or fellatio.
Unless it’s Coors Light, then stop and find something else. “Friends don’t let friends drink Coors Light.” To refine an old Latin saying, which is kind of redundant because any saying from ancient Rome is inherently old, “Mal degustobus non disputandem.” There is no point in arguing with poor taste.
Of course most beer connoisseurs are inveterate Anglo-philes who think a good night of entertainment is watching Sir Alistair Cooke introduce an episode of “Masterpiece Theatre.” They are really only looking justify the habit of serving English beer warm. The rest of us know the real answer to this one, British protectionist policies forced England’s dependence upon Lucas Electronics, a/k/a the “Prince of Darkness,” for everything from cars to refrigeration. The resulting inconsistency forced the British to serve their beer warm rather than risk it be spoiled by the constant change in temperature. Proof positive that government should not interfere with the invisible hand of the market.
The term is a fabulously clever combination of classical Marxist economic terminology with the ancient concept of the androgen, someone with no discernable sexual characteristics or personal characteristics contrary to their gender. (The use of “fabulously clever” is painfully bourgeoigenous)
“Wallace Stevens (October 2, 1879 – August 2, 1955) was an American Modernist poet. He was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, educated at Harvard and then New York Law School, and spent most of his life working as a lawyer for the Hartford insurance company in Connecticut.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Stevens “At work all day on [reviewing] contract instruments and actuarial tables . . .” http://www.kevinstevens.net/writings/wallacestevens.htm

“Dunbar loved shooting skeet because he hated every minute of it and the time passed so slowly. He had figured out that a single hour on the skeet-shooting range with people like Havermeyer and Appleby could be worth as much as eleven-times-seventeen years.
‘I think you’re crazy,’ was the way Clevinger had responded to Dunbar’s discovery.
‘Who wants to know?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I mean it,’ Clevinger insisted.
‘Who cares?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I really do. I’ll even go so far as to concede that life seems longer I -‘
‘- is longer I -‘
‘- is longer – Is longer? All right, is longer if it’s filled with periods of boredom and discomfort, b -‘
‘Guess how fast?’ Dunbar said suddenly.
‘Huh?’
‘They go,’ Dunbar explained.
‘Years.’
‘Years.’
‘Years,’ said Dunbar. ‘Years, years, years.’
‘Clevinger, why don’t you let Dunbar alone?’ Yossarian broke in. ‘Don’t you realize the toll this is taking?’
‘It’s all right,’ said Dunbar magnanimously. ‘I have some decades to spare. Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’
‘And you shut up also,’ Yossarian told Orr, who had begun to snigger.
‘I was just thinking about that girl,’ Orr said. ‘That girl in Sicily. That girl in Sicily with the bald head.’
‘You’d better shut up also,’ Yossarian warned him.
‘It’s your fault,’ Dunbar said to Yossarian. ‘Why don’t you let him snigger if he wants to? It’s better than having him talking.’
‘All right. Go ahead and snigger if you want to.’
‘Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’ Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. ‘This long.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.’
‘Old?’ asked Clevinger with surprise. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Old.’
‘I’m not old.’
‘You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?’ Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.
‘Well, maybe it is true,’ Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. ‘Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?’
‘I do,’ Dunbar told him.
‘Why?’ Clevinger asked.
‘What else is there?’”
http://paul.kedrosky.com/archives/2005/04/dunbar_investin.html excerpted from Joseph Heller’s CATCH-22.

“Est Amor pro Tabelleo Recenseo” the unofficial motto of New York Law School.

“Dog Whistle” flavors is a term imparted to Tavernator.com by a man whose beer expertise is so essential to the continued national security of this nation that it would violate 15 levels of the National Security Code to reveal his true identity, so he can only be referred to by his sub-level 6 code name, Ice-Berg, even in this highly sensitive and most patriotic publication.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell . . . Dungggg! (Monty Python)
In fact one style of Lager beer, more specifically pilsener, became so popular that it was slowly extinguishing all other styles of beer, not designed to mimic its main characteristics, throughout the world. Then after World War II, advanced refrigeration made it possible for American Brewers to cut back on the more expensive formulations of beer, even their vaunted pilsener. They used heavily subsidized grain adjuncts like rice and corn and served them at such cold temperatures, anaesthetizing the drinkers taste buds that they did not even notice it had no flavor. Then they took the savings on ingredients, plowed it back into advertising and drove out most of the competing brewers and almost all of the competing styles. Hence the birth of the Premium American Pilsener or PAP. Proof positive that the invisible hand of the market is so destructive that government intervention to halt its cancerous growth is essential for human survival.
No, not that German Purity Law! . . . the beer purity law.
Yeast, although fully existent, was unknown to brewers of the age, largely to be discovered only hundreds of years later by scientists like Louis Pasteur and therefore not included in the law. Prior to its scientific discovery Brewers brought yeast into beer by taking sediment from previously brewed beer and adding it to the new wort.
The Germans seemed to follow this pattern on more than one occasion. They would test market a purity law in Bavaria and if they thought it would fly they shoved it down the throats of the rest of the country.
1988 to be exact.
For more information see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot
Reinheitsgebot – See definitions. (Are we Dicks or what?)
http://www.franklinbrew.org/brewinfo/srm.html
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
“Just a Kiss of the hops” An advertising concept for Schlitz in the 1950’s and early ‘60’s to justify their not spending money on putting hops in your beer. Could well be applied to Munich Helles as well, but for very different reasons. Who knows maybe Schlitz was a PAP variation of Helles. See “Cold War Beer” at http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?p=119
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
The Holy Roman Empire of Beers, (It was not holy, it was not Roman and it was definitely not an empire.) It is not Premium, i.e., the very best to be offered; they are cut down with lesser alcohol producing grains like rice or corn rather than go with pure barley malt to make them “smoother. Moreover the term “Premium” was really applied to most of these beers as an advertising ploy; The fact is many of these companies marking their beer as premium have another beer which is meant to be superior, which is not possible if it is truly premium; it is not “American” in that now most nations world wide produce some variation of this style of beer and most of those beers are the biggest sellers in their country(See Commercial examples below and the BJCP website); and it is definitely not pilsener. It does not have sufficient flavor, does not use the correct ingredients and is just generally a “hot mess”* as far as beer is concerned. That being said, if you do not have a favorite PAP, or some variation thereof, you probably never drank beer in the past 100 years.

*Hot Mess is Proletandrogenous – i.e. working class androgenous. Although popularized by the most successful female member of bourgeoisie it is clearly “street” or “ghetto” speak and even in this “classless” society, because everybody is middle class here, the “ghetto” or the ” street” remain the proles and that is much of the charm, to the bourgi’s of such a phrase.

Those brewed with corn may give off a taste of corn alcohol, especially then drinking a PAP after drinking an all barley malt brew. Rice brewed PAP’s tend to be even smoother leaving only light hops, but they are a real break from the true “American” tradition of corn brews, first developed by the Incas. (Only without the malted barley and hops.) Even these beers can leave off flavours when drank in tandem with their all barley malt cousins.
26. Yet despite all that they quench a hot thirst like no other beer and are so light in alcohol flavour, etc., you hardly realize you drank one before moving onto the next. “Schaeffer . . . is the . . . one beer to have, when your having more than one!” From an advertising perspective, the target audience PAP drinker is a white male “Old Glory” flag waving,* xenophobe who thinks the country is going to hell in a hand basket because the President of the United States is a black man with a Arab (long a) name whose government won’t keep their hands off his Medicare, Social Security, and his pipe dreams of imperialist glory in Iraq and Afghanistan.

*Confederate flags are an acceptable alternative, Nazi flags are, please excuse the oxymoron here, a bit gauche.

“http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php”
It is hard not to laugh because it is such an abuse of the English language to create a product that is superior to your “premium product.”
These group results found the following about the target audience – college educated yuppies who really only wanted to broaden their wallets so they can lord it over the Jones’s, but not their intellectual horizons: In other words white male near-“Old Glory” flag waving coded- xenophobes who think the country is going to hell in a hand basket, but who speak in euphemisms and code phrases so as to distinguish themselves as socio-economically superior to their actually-flag waving brethren, but not be so outside the socially acceptable norms of mother god and country and be confused with pointy headed intellectual beerheads. These yuppies had, surprisingly enough, sufficient intellectual sense, from more than a decade of pounding it in them, that the inherent redundancy of “Super Premium” made them feel vaguely uncomfortable. It was as though such advertising language would not only attract them to the product, but also their actually-flag waving brethren defeating the whole purpose of drinking the product for them; i.e. to drink a product with sufficient brand implications to induce the appearance of superior socio-economic position, yet without sufficient flavor distinction to risk looking like some sort of weirdo beerhead. In other words Super PAPs have little discernable difference than a PAP other than brand identification.
. www.bjcp.org See BJCP definition of a Premium American Lager. We at Tavernator.com take umbrage with the BJCP definition for engaging in unnecessary descriptive accuracy. It completely ignores the milllions of dollars poured into brand positioning of the various forms of PAP to dissuade the drinker from actually noticing that the flavour profile of every product they drank was essentially the same. This kind of ubiquitous disinformation campaign, whose effective subtlety so clearly outstripped the pervasive persuasiveness of the Soviet propaganda machine, and may very well have have lead to its demise, needs to be cherished as as a foundational element of our shared belief in the American system as a bastion of freedom of choice.
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php
Apparently the modern Boston Brewery of Sam Adams fame, was the old Haffenreffer Brewery, which had bought out the original Boston Brewery. Private Stock is not currently available, but it may make a comeback. http://www.falstaffbrewing.com/haffenreffer.htm
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/6, http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style06.php, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_ale; If you read this definition before, your eyes are not deceiving you it did originally read “Spawned from the depths of banality that marked the Premium American Pilsener Era, alternatively referred to as the Cold War Era, which spanned the years of 1946 to 1984.” Further review of the facts: The Editors recalled that Yuengling once produced Olde Oxford Cream Ale in the 1930’s; and further review of the the bjcp website above; commanded the modification of this sentence.
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm Effervescence, such a wonderfully Anglo description for carbonation and esthers are a sort of alcohol that tends to give off fruit aromas and flavors or for some people a cheap alcohol flavour.
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
Choose your source. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style.php/85/?start=20, http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%B6lsch
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
The Prussian answer to Lambics.
44. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm this product not only impinges upon the iconic Miller High Life’s trademark phrase, but threatens the Mike’s Hard Lemonade market.
Sounds like a forgettable sexual encounter with an effervescent moderately bourgeoigenous Kraut Goth. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm “Sharply refreshing” another wonderfully Anglo turn of the phrase, that sounds like it is saying something, but really isn’t. After all how sharp? Sharp enough to cut through those caked on levels of sand, dead skin and dried saliva after you come off the Sahara spending the day in a dead camel’s rotting stomach to avoid the high heat? I suspect not. Once again one of those “beer expert” phrases that seem to be accompanied by halos. (See Definitions Dog Whistle Flavors.)
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm.
The non-traditional ones using fruit syrup tend to be noticeably sweeter and some enthusiasts feel it is undermining the whole genre. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/14
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/50
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/15
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/10
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16. Also Tavernator ran across Colomba Corsican White Beer, at Bacchus in Brooklyn, which is may be more similar to a Wit or Hefeweizen, but it does not use Orange and coriander, but herbes du maquis (strawberry tree, myrtle, cistus, and juniper). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pietra; Pietra offers a couple of other potentially fascinating brands, that we have not had a chance to imbibe.
(The Editors – Who was the pompous asshole who decided to go with “Vernal and Autumnal” rather than “Spring and Fall?”)(It refers to the Equinoxes upon which these seasons are defined you redundant Philistines. – Beertheostorian A)(The Editors – He is still buying the beer these days right? No need to remind him that modern archeological evidence indicates that the philistines were the cultured cosmopolitan and educated ones compared to their sheep herding country bumkin brethren the Isrealites.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lager Altbier is Lager or cold cave, now refrigerator, aged. It is this combination of top fermenting and cold aging, along with the use of older style darker malts, that limits its fruitiness, but provides a malty bittersweet clean dry finish.
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
(The Editors – Do you think they prefer to be called Bi-chromatic Ales?)
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/128
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/128 (This wide variation in abv is typical of a beer which lacks any trace of a distinct heritage and really can’t decide which side of the color divide it belongs. – Beertheostorian A)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bock
Its flavor and body characteristics may make it a more appropriate offering than an American Bock, any time of year.
preferably in A flat. “Dog Whistle” Flavors – Flavors so faint that like a dog whistle, only non-humans can taste them. Also like dogs who use their heightened senses of smell to identify and introduce themselves to other dogs by smelling each others butts, most pompous beer experts like to identify and introduce most of these flavors while shrouded in a gaseous halo of crap.
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
Does not taste like shit.
less flavourful
More watery
Like making love in a canoe by comparison. (What is the similarity between American beer and making love in a canoe: it is fucking close to water! See Monty Python.)
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
weak sisters of the European Bock family. They are also described as Helles on alcohol steroids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bock See also Helles description above in Summer beers.
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coneheads
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marzen
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oktoberfest
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marzen
Talk about a smarmy dog whistle description there. (The Editors)
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/29
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97 (Until recently, around the mid 1990’s it was still the equivalent of pilsener in England. Now England has discovered the wonders of Pilsener and other more exotic beers, and it’s market share has reduced considerably. On the other hand Pale Ale is now the pilsener of American Beer aficianados, a popular fall back position for a session beer if not the number one session beer.)
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/154
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97
“Ordinary Bitters – Medium gold to medium copper-brown. Grain and malt tend to predominate over hop flavor and bitterness (altough there are exceptions) with enough hop aroma to balance and add interest. Light to medium body. Special Bitters – Similar to an ordinary bitter, but stronger and more robust with a more evident malt flavor and hop character. A full-bodied, robust copper colored beer with a maltier, more complex flavor than either the ordinary or special bitter.” http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/97
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
Samuel Adams Boston Lager I
Dos Equis Amber series of commercials. Likely loosely based upon the lives of the authors Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ernest Hemingway.
Despite the potential fruitiness of the “Most interesting man in the world.” Not appropriate for a lager brewing company, better for an ale producer like Sierra Nevada.(The Editors)
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/30
Use of a gun in self defense is not recommended here. But See Monty Python “Self defense against Fresh Fruit” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RKTSwAVaoU http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_Defence_Against_Fresh_Fruit.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/19 American Barleywine http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/152
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/19
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/152
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_Belgium; http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/55; http://www.netplaces.com/home-brewing/hops-putting-the-bitter-in/putting-the-bite-in-your-beer.htm
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/55
(Beertheostorian A) Of course it is only a few miles apart, it is friggin Belgium! It is not even the whole of Belgium!
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/52
These style ales also often have Belgian Candy sugar thrown in further increasing the fermentable substances available to turn to alcohol and create a lighter body for such a rich beer. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/58
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/58
Wikipedia reports that it was first developed in the 19th Century at the Westmalle monastery. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_Belgium
a combination of herbs and spices used as beer flavor enhancer prior to the rise of hops.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/57
You can add in various flavoured stouts and Porters as well, that will not be addressed directly here. Vanilla, chocolate, coffee being some of the most common flavors, there is even a fantastic Oyster Stout brewed in Ireland and served in NYC. Porter and stout today seem to be the style of beer craft brewers wish to dress up with something different. Maybe it is the heavy strong flavors that attract the experimentation.
Porter replaced the ancien regime of inconsistent and wide ranging varieties of Brown Ales which were the only available beer in the era and whose recipes have for the most part long disappeared from the brewing world along with the varied and small breweries which produced them. Ultimately, Porters would come perilously close to suffering the same fate as the Brown Ales of yore which they replaced in so many areas, in a slow process that started before they even reached their zenith. First Pale Ales, developed half a century later, displaced them in their homeland of England; then Pilseners, appearing in the 1840’s, shattered their dominance everywhere in the world, except Ireland; finally Premium American Pilsener’s after World War II drove them, with numerous other styles, to near extinction. As a result Porters struggled to maintain their presence and identity until the mid to late 1990’s when they too received a revitalizing jolt from the craft brew revolution.
The term roasted for Light, Brown, and Dark Roasted malts refers to the kiln drying process applied to malts to terminate the germination process. This can range from around 131 degrees Fahrenheit, for light or pale roasted malts to 450 degrees for Black patent malt. This should not be confused with dark roasted barley, which is unmalted barley roasted at fairly high temperatures, and is often used in a variety of dark brews being less expensive because it requires less processing. Sufficient alcohol is derived from the other malts used in these dark brews. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malt http://allaboutbeer.com/learn-beer/home-brewing/brewing-instructions/2011/03/dark-roast-please/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer)
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/101
Tavernator’s all time favorite offering in this area is the dearly departed Ruffian Porter produced by Mountain Valley Brew Pub, founded in 1992 by Lon Lauterio. http://www.jackcurtin.com/liquiddiet/asn/distribution.htm Like many ventures in the first and second waves of the craft brew revolution, or the history of business generally, it could never produce a consistently large enough customer base to offset the extensive capital outlay needed for the brewing operations. What made Ruffian so special was that it had the distinct chocolate notes without adding chocolate to the brew. Another favorite of the Tavernator crew is Yuengling Porter, not because it is the greatest Porter, but because it was one the few dark brews available in the nadir of the PAP era of absolute dominance, circa 1981 – 1982. Android while sitting in the JHU grad Club sipping on a Yuengling Porter said to Dr. Janet Kueblar, after she mentioned the Sam Adams was not only a revolutionary, but a brewer. Android said, “You know what America needs, a great flavourful beer and name it Sam Adams. Ideally it should be brewed in Boston and the label should read; Sam Adams ‘Brewer, Revolutionary’ to remind the US of its radical roots.” As we all know, Jim Koch was sitting in the JHU grad that night and two to three years later he was brewing sam Adams in Boston.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/159
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/159
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/80, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer): Some historians believe the high alcohol content was for preservative effect as British brewers began to want not only to supply local pubs, but also to expand their market internationally. It is clear that this style was brewed in Baltic nations as well, but the question is which came first, Baltic breweries producing Baltic Porters or and British breweries following their lead or British breweries producing and exporting Baltic Porters and Baltic brewers deciding they wanted in on the action.
Sounds more like a chemical fire than a brew. Despite this description they can be quite pleasant.
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/80.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porter_(beer)
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm “The fruitiness is reminiscent of the burnt currants on the edge of a cake that has just been removed from the oven, or the Christmas pudding in Britain, heavy with dried and candied fruits. The alcohol suggests that the cocoa or coffee, pudding or cake, has been laced with spirit.”
http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/68; http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/77
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/68
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/77

One Response to “Tavernator Beer Definitions”

  1. JSL says:

    At the request of the Editor, I have agreed to send on this small note of appreciation for the level of research and dedication this site shows. It’s a reminder of how much we can accomplish, even in these difficult economic times, when people of like minds and good will come together to share their ideas, hobbies, joys, and aspirations. In many ways, this web site is an ongoing culmination of the best in America. No wonder the Chinese are about to kick our ass.

    JSL’s comments while accurate about the best America has to offer, do not properly apply beer theory analyisis to our relations with China. See http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?page_id=52 for a fuller understanding of the Chinese conundrum. (The Editors)