Billy Bob's Beer Blog

In listening to criticisms of the site, and there have been many, people have complained that there is no place on the site to learn more about beer itself. You know the different styles, how they taste, etc.

To that end we at Tavernator present you with Beer Definitions, an indefinite source for more information that, at best, can only be used at a bar or when you are so low on conversational ideas that you are forced to resort to talking about beer.1 Below are some definitions of basic beer terminology, Tavernator.com terminolgy as well as some generic guidelines for various beer styles.

Yet unlike the others, we back these definitions up with our fantastic* unconditional money back guarantee, if you pay us a one thousand dollars for each beer style definition you read and after trying beers described you are not completely satisfied with our descriptions we will refund 50% of what you paid us, no questions asked.
(* to us)

We have further broken down our definitions by seasonal styles2 – The Editors.

General comments on Beer Tasting -   Look you hear a lot of claims about a beer made by the brewer and “expert” as to how a beer should taste, but the reality is even within certain styles different beers can taste very differently.  3Even the experts at Tavernator.com can not taste all the “dog whistle” 4 flavors many brewers and their tasters claim exist in their brews. So if you do not taste the “dog whistle” flavors or even the main flavors, do not sweat it, they are your taste buds and are there solely for your enjoyment.5The bottom line is, if you like it, keep drinking it.6 Just keep in mind when reading these descriptions and any and all of your future forays into beer drinking, everybody’s taste-buds are different, yours are just not as good as ours.

Base definitions:

ABV – Alcohol by volume, usually given in a percent. ABV is used for beer and that beverage which starts with a w; whereas proof is generally used for hard liquor. Proof translates literally to 1 proof equalling 1/2% ABV. Apparently the term came from cowboys who wanted to know that their alocohol was not watered down, they would put a match to it and if it caught fire they called it 100 proof. Since it takes 50% ABV for a drink to catch fire, the industry adopted the standard of measuring proof at 100 proof being 50% ABV.

Ale yeast – Yeast that ferments at the top of the wort. This generally occurs at warmer temperatures, say between 65 to 75 degrees Fahrenheit. The thinking among many beer connoisseurs is that you want to drink the beer at the fermentation temperature.7

Attenuation – a measure of sugar consumption in the wort based upon “Gravity” measurements using a Hydrometer. These can be measured in Plato or Specific Gravity weights. 12 degrees Plato or Briz represents a 12% sugar solution in water which works out to about 1.048 SG (US) or 1048 SG (British) or original gravity, where 1.000 or 1000 is the weight of water and 1.048 or 1048 is heavier than water. These measurements are performed prior to fermentation of the wort or Original Gravity, usually signified as OG, and after fermentation is completed or stopped, signified as FG or Final Gravity. Attenuation is measured as OG minus FG divided by OG. If Specific Gravity measurements are used, the 1 or 1000 is subtracted from the OG as a divider. If you multiply the result from that by 131.715 you get a reasonably accurate representation of ABV. (http://brewadvice.com/questions/675/what-is-attentuation; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specific_gravity; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_(beer))

Beer-heads – kind of like connoisseur pot-heads only they are into beer. Less bourgeoigenous than the winers.

Beer on Steroids – Any beer where extreme amounts of hops, alcohol content, malt etc. may be used to distinguish the beer from its original style. Commercial examples of these would be Dogfishhead 120 Minute IPA or Samuel Adams Imperial Pilsener.

Bourgeoigenous – A meterosexual in or with the attitude of the ownership class.8 This term developed by graduates of George Washington, Brooklyn and New York Law Schools arose out of the long hours of tedium that generations earlier inspired the poetry of Wallace Stevens, another NYLS graduate, and the philosophy of Joseph Heller’s “Dunbar.”9

“Dog Whistle” Flavors – Flavors so faint that like a dog whistle, only non-humans can taste them. Also like dogs who use their heightened senses of smell to identify and introduce themselves to other dogs by smelling each others butts, most pompous beer experts like to identify and introduce most of these flavors while shrouded in a gaseous halo of crap.10

IBU – International Bitterness Units, this is a measure of the bitterness you should taste in a given beer ussually caused by hops. It is measured in whole numbers.

Lager yeast – Yeast that ferments at the bottom of the wort. This generally occurs at cooler temperatures, say between 35(very low) to 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Lager beer is the most commonly brewed beer in the world.11

Reinhietsgebot – The German purity law 12 first suggested in 1487 and then codified in 1516 in Ingolstadt, Bavaria. Under this law, beer could only contain the following ingredients: water; barley, malted or unmalted; and hops. No wheat, no corn, no rice. 13 The adoption of the Reinheitsgebot nationwide in 1871 as part of Bavaria’s condition for entering a unified Germany ensured the extermination of other regional German beer styles including north German spiced beer and German cherry beer.14 “Shockingly”, Bavarian Hefeweizen and other Bavarian Wheat beers did not suffer such a fate despite technically running afoul of the law. Following World War II, 15 the Reinheitsgebot was lifted by the European Court of Justice. Even so German brewers to this day still claim to abide by its rules realizing that most beer drinkers will not associate it with the massive growth of Pilsener style beers in the late 1800′s and the near extinction of all other competing beer styles.16

Uber Beers – Beer styles which became ubiquitous spatially and temporally. (The Editor’s – “What the F?!?”) In their era they were a beer every serious beer drinker had to try in its time. In their time they could be found in some part of every continent where civilization existed. This Tavernator concept channels Nietzsche’s Uber-man concept. The beer should be true to its own standards, unwavering in the approval or disapproval of the masses, yet simultaneously dominate the brewing culture of its era. A Brewer’s goal, much like Nietzsche’s role for women should be to produce an Uber Beer. An Uber-man should spend extended time in solitude to concentrate on creating genius. A Master Brewer probably needs to do the same to create an Uber Beer. Uber Beers have included Porter, Pale Ale, Pilsener, and Premium American Pilsener or PAP. Please note that Tavernators definition of an Uber Beer runs in complete contravention to the trend in the brewing industry to attribute Uber Beer staus to craft brews generally and to rare especially odd craft brews in particular. See generally the following websites: uberbier.com; hollerbackproductions.com/uberfestival; brookstonbeerbulletin.com/a-hilarious-spoof-of-the-uber-beer-geek; lewbryson.blogspot.com/…/if-youre-uber-beer-geekbetter-not-read.html. In our minds an Uber Beer must dominate its cultural moment. Craft brews although generally superior are too diverse styylistically, control too small a market, kowtow to Uber Beers of the past or re-invent beers that died out in the past for good reason, see especially lewbryson.blogspot.com and brookstonbeerbulletin.com/a-hilarious-spoof-of-the-uber-beer-geek, to justify conferring Uber Beer status upon them as this time.

Winers- Bourgeoigenous connoisseurs of that weanie drink known as wine. When these “guys” really get going on wine, the toxic pomposity of the gaseous halo surrounding these clowns is enough violate the Geneva Conventions against weapons of mass destruction.

Wort – (pronounced wert or vert) that liquid mass of boiled water, barley malt, hops, and Reinheitsgobot17 forbid, adjuncts such as corn, rice, wheat, (or other alcohol producing grain), fruit, spices, or other flavouring/preservative additives besides hops. Yeast is added to the wort after it cools down to work its magic and create the substance we love so much.

SRM – a numbered chart for determining beer colour.18

Summer Beers

Bohemian Pilsener:

The original Pilsener Beer. The true “King of Beers” and a beer of any king worth his salt. (Also an Uber Beer) First appearing in 1842, it would create such a sensation that it almost lead to the extinction of its second most notable example – Budweiser/Budjevice, almost exterminated by Anheuser Busch’s, now InBev’s, Budweiser, the beer of the same name but a weaker variation of the Bohemian Pilsener beer style that ultimately conquered the world, Premium American Pilsener. (Feeling less dickish we advise you to see the definitions below.) Pale to deep gold, Bohemian Pilsener should have a head that is moderately large and lasts. A noticeable bitterness, with a touch of peppery spice should be balanced against a full and multi-layered maltiness, no fruitiness although some versions might have a slight butteriness to them. Body a little less watery than its German cousin and may even appear bordering on ale-like, but with more carbonation.

“Crisp, complex and well-rounded yet refreshing.

Comments: Uses Moravian malted barley and a decoction mash for rich, malt character. Saaz hops and low sulfate, low carbonate water provide a distinctively soft, rounded hop profile. Traditional yeast sometimes can provide a background diacetyl note. Dextrins provide additional body, and diacetyl enhances the perception of a fuller palate.

History: First brewed in 1842, this style was the original clear, light-colored beer.”
“Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044 – 1.056
IBUs: 35 – 45 FG: 1.013 – 1.017
SRM: 3.5 – 6 ABV: 4.2 – 5.4%

Commercial Examples: Pilsner Urquell, Krušovice Imperial 12°, Budweiser Budvar (Czechvar in the US), Czech Rebel, Staropramen, Gambrinus Pilsner, Zlaty Bazant Golden Pheasant, Dock Street Bohemian Pilsner”19

German Pilsner or simply “Pils:”

This should be a crisp and bitter beer. A lot of these styles of beer, when exported in the bottle to the U.S. get a slightly heavy sweet bitterness to them. A little sweetness is okay, but the dry bitterness should clean it out pretty quickly. This usually means it is not entirely fresh. Usually the tap versions do not suffer this fate. Pils should have a clean flavor, a dry maybe spicy bitterness, no real fruitiness and no buttery/creamy texture or flavor. May also have a hint of sulphur. The texture or body should be more water-like than Ales and more highly carbonated.

“History: A copy of Bohemian Pilsener adapted to brewing conditions in Germany.

Ingredients: Pilsner malt, German hop varieties (especially noble varieties such as Hallertauer, Tettnanger and Spalt for taste and aroma), medium sulfate water, German lager yeast.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.044 – 1.050
IBUs: 25 – 45 FG: 1.008 – 1.013
SRM: 2 – 5 ABV: 4.4 – 5.2%

Commercial Examples: Victory Prima Pils, Bitburger, Warsteiner, Trumer Pils, Old Dominion Tupper’s Hop Pocket Pils, König Pilsener, Jever Pils, Left Hand Polestar Pilsner, Holsten Pils, Spaten Pils, Brooklyn Pilsner”20

Munich Helles:

A lager very similar to Pilsner in ingredients, subtle variations in the proportions and brewing process create a slightly sweet malty beer with “just a kiss of the hops.”21 Similar in color and head to a pilsner, you may need a halo to really tell the difference between this and some weakly hopped pilsners. “Created in Munich in 1895 at the Spaten brewery by Gabriel Sedlmayr to compete with Pilsner-style beers.

Ingredients: Moderate carbonate water, Pilsner malt, German noble hop varieties.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.045 – 1.051
IBUs: 16 – 22 FG: 1.008 – 1.012
SRM: 3 – 5 ABV: 4.7 – 5.4%

Commercial Examples: Weihenstephaner Original, Hacker-Pschorr Münchner Gold, Bürgerbräu Wolznacher Hell Naturtrüb, Mahr’s Hell, Paulaner Premium Lager, Spaten Premium Lager, Stoudt’s Gold Lager” 22Saranac Helles

Dortmunder Export:

A Northern German lager response to the Pilsener craze sweeping the world in the late 1800′s, it is said to have the malt character of Helles, the hops character of Pilsner and it is, theoretically, stronger than both. Utilizing high mineral content water it too tends to provide a subtle flavor and aroma influence. You may even smell sulphur among other things if you are in the Dog Whistle Zone. Brewed to a slightly higher starting gravity than other light lagers, it should provide a firm malty body and underlying maltiness to complement the sulfate-accentuated hop bitterness. The term “Export” is a beer strength category under German beer tax law, and is not strictly synonymous with the “Dortmunder” style. Beer from other cities or regions can be brewed to Export strength, and labeled as such. Beck’s from Bremen for example which some say falls under the Super PAP category. Nonetheless it is a variation on the Pilsener theme which swept the world, except the UK and Belgium, from the mid 1800′s to the 1920′s. For many years it held its own, even late into the 1990′s, but it may now be more on the decline with the resurgence of other styles more easily distinguishable from pilsener.
“OG: 1.048 – 1.056 IBUs: 23 – 30 FG: 1.010 – 1.015
SRM: 4 – 6 ABV: 4.8 – 6.0%
“Commercial Examples: DAB Export, Dortmunder Union Export, Dortmunder Kronen, Ayinger Jahrhundert, Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold, Barrel House Duveneck’s Dortmunder, Bell’s Lager, Dominion Lager, Gordon Biersch Golden Export, Flensburger Gold” 23

Premium American Pilsener:24

(The ultimate Uber Beer.) Most variations of this style of beer ostensibly draw their lineage from a golden bohemian or pilsener style beer, but many also may channel pilsener response beers like Helles, or Dortmunder Export. In short its very existence is both an affront to and the greatest compliment ever paid to Pilsener. Suffice it to say it is the world’s most maligned and popular beer. It is a lager, but beyond that it is defined by its lack of definable character. Diplomatically stated, strong flavours are the anathema of this style of beer. It should have limited hop bitterness, it should have limited malt sweetness, it should be smooth, crisp. and dry. 25 PAP should have the most even balance of malt and hops possible; so balanced in fact, that it may border on providing no discernable evidence that such items were used in the brewing process. They are high in carbonation and are best served very cold where any off flavors from the adjuncts is muted by the numbness you feel in your mouth.

The PAP category is so large, amorphous, and influential a beer style  that it is not only broken down into six major subcategories all of which provide examples of beer that may mimic pilseners or their other progeny while insulting their craftsmanship, but it even rates a historic era which runs essentially parallel with the Cold War. There is PAP; Super Premium American Pilsener, SPAP; Light Premium American Pilsener, LPAP; Light Super Premium American Pilsener, LSPAP; Standard American Pilsener, SAP; and Malt Liquor. Coloration ranges from very light piss to fairly light piss colour. Little to no aroma unless you have the nose of a Blood Hound.26“Comments: Strong flavors are a fault. An international style including the standard mass-market lager from most countries.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with high percentage (up to 40%) of rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.040 – 1.050
IBUs: 8 – 15 FG: 1.004 – 1.010
SRM: 2 – 4 ABV: 4.2 – 5.3%

Commercial Examples: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller High Life, Budweiser, Baltika #3 Classic, Kirin Lager, Grain Belt Premium Lager, Molson Golden, Labatt Blue, Coors Original, Foster’s Lager,”27 Yuengling Premium

Super Premium American Pilsener – Because of the nature of PAP drinkers advertising executives recognized another market they wanted to tap and they wished to create product lines of “better than premium products,”28 Super was the initial adjective they settled on until they played it out in their focus groups. 29 For flavor expectations – see comments in Premium American Pilseners above, plus these directly from the BJCP,

“[Super]Premium beers tend to have fewer adjuncts than standard/lite lagers, and can be all-malt. Strong flavors are a fault, but [Super] premium lagers have more flavor than standard/lite lagers. A broad category of international mass-market lagers ranging from up-scale American lagers to the typical “import” or “green bottle” international beers found in America.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with up to 25% rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics: OG: 1.046 – 1.056
IBUs: 15 – 25 FG: 1.008 – 1.012
SRM: 2 – 6 ABV: 4.6 – 6%

Commercial Examples: Full Sail Session Premium Lager, Miller Genuine Draft, Corona Extra, Michelob, Coors Extra Gold, Birra Moretti, Heineken, Beck’s, Stella Artois, Red Stripe, Singha,”  30 Yuengling Lord Chesterfiled Ale

Standard American Pilsener – more of the same only less. More adjuncts, same alcohol content, more likely to have off flavours, especially at temperatures above freezing.

Commercial Examples – Red Dog, Busch, Keystone Draft, Piels, Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee’s (Have they no shame?!?!) Best, Schaeffer, Schlitz

Light Premium American Pilsener – Even more of the same with less of everything especially body and flavor in most cases. Discerning the difference between this stuff and seltzer water can be a task.

Ingredients: Two- or six-row barley with high percentage (up to 40%) of rice or corn as adjuncts.
Vital Statistics:     OG: 1.028 – 1.040
IBUs: 8 – 12     FG: 0.998 – 1.008
SRM: 2 – 3     ABV: 2.8 – 4.2%

Commercial Examples: MGD 60 Light,  Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light, Baltika #1 Light, Old Milwaukee Light. 31

Light Super Premium American Pilsener – Some of these almost taste and feel like beer. Some don’t. With the likely exception of Sam Adams, most of these were designed and developed primarily to attract the more  health conscience Super Premium niche that wanted a beer that, while not labeling them as outside the socially safe flavour norm of American beer options, clearly distinguishes them as more socioeconomically adept than their redneck Coors Light drinking brethren.

Commercial Examples: Bitburger Light, Sam Adams Light, Heineken Premium Light, Amstel Light, Corona Light, Michelob Ultra32

Malt Liqour – Really an American legal term to describe higher than legal labelling standard alcohol content in a beer. Many states started malt liquor at somewhere around 5.0% alcohol by volume. Malt Liqours as defined here mean Hyper alcohol charged PAP’s. Basically a PAP with grain alcohol added. If you look closely at many imports, they also have malt liquor somewhere on their label , rather than beer or ale, to avoid legal problems when selling in the United States. Nonetheless they are not the same as a PAP Malt Liquor,which is a uniquely “American” animal.

Commercial Examples – Colt 45, Country Club, Haffenreffer Private Stock,33 Mickeys Big Mouth Green, Schlitz Malt Liquor, Old English 800, Steel Reserve.

American Cream Ales:

Spawned from the depths of banality needed to compete with the growing popularity of the Premium American Pilsener style prior to Prohibition, Cream Ales would all but disappear in the Premium American Pilsener Era, alternatively referred to as the Cold War Era, which spanned the years of 1946 to 1984. Most use an ale yeast , but are either brewed at the lower lager temperatures, are finished with lager conditioning, lager yeast or have lager beer mixed in. Macro-brewers consistently use adjuncts which have a lightening or “smoothing” effect. Smaller craft brewers more recently have brewed all malt American Cream Ales. These brewers have also given their version a little more bittering and aromatic hop kick than their macro brew predecessors. Nonetheless, the colouring stays around Pale straw to pale gold color, similar to a Pilsener and the hop bitterness and aroma remains fairly low, even compared to a proper Pilsener. We at Tavernator also argue that a Cream Ale is really just a Kolsch by another name and a few minor changes in ingredients and a tad more carbonation.(Wikipedia agrees,) Among the many things Beer Advocate says about them is that they are “well attenuated.”34 Beer expert Timothy Dawson states they have a “high effervescence . . . [and s]ome low esters may be detectable.”35

“Commercial examples: Genesee Cream Ale, Little Kings Cream Ale, Molson Golden Ale, Weinhards Light American Ale.
O.G.: 1.044 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 7%; IBUs: 10 – 22; SRM: 2 – 4.” 36

Kölsch:

First or still only brewed in Köln, Germany.37U. S. Micro-brewers also claim to have produced this style, Harpoon Summer Ale being one of the more commercially available versions. It was a style that some believe was nearing extinction, but with the Micro-brew revolution hitting Germany, some have argued it is even making a comeback there. Dry, slight grape or wine or other slightly fruity or esther-like flavours, may be discernable. It is light bodied, “smooth,” with limited hop bitterness and aroma and a slightly dry finish. It can be produced from ale or lager yeast. Meant to be served cold, it is ale fermented and then lagered at cool temperatures for finishing. This lagering process probably increases the attenuation and certainly reduces the heavier fruitiness of ale fermented products that do not go through the lagering process. Maybe a bit hoppier than Cream Ale it is very refreshing, with fewer off flavours than Macro-brewed Cream Ales.

“Commercial Examples: Kueppers, Froeh, Sion, Gaffel Koelsch, Muhlen, Gilden, Dom Koelsch, Garde, Gereons, Kurfursten, Reissdorf, Sester, Zunft.
O.G.: 1.040 – 1.045; Alcohol: 4 – 5%; IBUs: 16 – 30; SRM: 3.5 – 10.” 38 United States Commercial Examples: Queen Anne’s Kolsch and Harpoon Summer Ale.

Wheat Beers:

This is another large, ancient, and growing set of summer beers. Generally lighter in flavor and texture than Pilsner style lagers they have made their biggest  resurgence in The United States, having remained reasonably popular, as a clear second tier brew in their European homelands. Often flavoured with fruit and fruit syrups making them popular with women as well as men.

Weizenbier (or Weissbier) - Wheat beers traditionally hailing from southern Germany a/k/a Bavaria, which may explain why they were not exterminated under the purity laws. Light to medium bodied, lightly hopped, yeasty, highly effervescent, slightly sour with Dog whistle notes of clove and banana. The quintessential German summer beer. Often served with Lemon.  Generally at least 50% wheat malt, they  may be a bit cloudy, and this supposedly this is more common in the higher wheat content styles, up to 60%, which apparently is caused by the wheat protein. Ale fermented using wheat oriented yeast strains. Dog Whistle flavor likely to encounter when shrouded with a gaseous halo: Clove, vanilla, nutmeg, smoke and cinnamon. No diacetyl. Ranging in colur from light straw to amber.

“Commercial examples: Paulaner, Hofbrauhaus, Julius Echter Weizenbier, Edelweiss, Spaten Club-Weisse, Erdinger Kristall Weissbier, Schneider Weisse.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 8 – 14; SRM: 3 – 9.”39

Hefe-Weizen – Yeasty Weizen. It is bottle or keg conditioned with limited filtering to ensure it contains sediment and increase the likelihood of cloudiness. May use an ale or lager yeast for final conditioning.
“Commercial examples: Pschorr Weizen, Wurzburger, Paulaner Hefe-Weizen, Prince Luitpold Hefe-Weissbier, Erdinger Mit Feiner Hefe-Weizen, Schneider Hefe-Weizen.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 8 – 14; SRM: 3 – 9.40

Dunkel Weizen – The dark version of Weizenbier, generally a bit stronger. Ranging between deep copper to brown. Gaseous halo flavors/aromas include a Chocolate-like maltiness, light clove or banana, if present at all, and light hops. “The combination of wheaty tartness and the lusciousness of dark malts makes this style full of flavor and complexity.” Probably good for making sweet and sour pork.
“Commercial examples:EKU,Hecker-Pschorr Dark Wheat, Oberdorfer Dunkelweizen, Erdinger Dunkel Weizen.
O.G.: 1.045 – 1.055+; Alcohol: 4.5 – 6%; IBUs: 10 – 15; SRM: 17 – 22.41

Weizenbock – Medium to full bodied it is more powerful than Dunkelweizen containing 40-60% wheat, yet stressing the malt. Low on Hops dog whistles include clove and banana and a touch of alcohol should push through because of the higher alcohol content. Duh.
Commercial examples: Erdinger Pinkantus, Shneider Aventinius.
O.G.: 1.066 – 1.080; Alcohol: 6.5 – 7.5%; IBUs: 10 – 15; SRM: 7 – 30.42

Berliner Weisse – Sour Weiss Beer brewed in the Berlin style.43 Not likely to be found easily in the U.S.. And with good reason: “tart, refreshing, thirst quenching beer,” referred to by some as the “Champagne of Beers;”44 Often mixed with sweet syrups, it utilizes ale yeast and as much as 75% malted wheat. It is very bubbly, light bodied with an extremely pale color, a hint of fruitiness, producing a short lived foamy white head due to weak protein structure and no bitterness.45

“Commercial examples: Berliner Kindl Weisse, Schultheiss Berliner Weisse.
O.G.: 1.028 – 1.032; Alcohol: 2.5 – 3.5%; IBUs: 3 – 12; SRM: 2 – 4.”46

American Wheat Beer – standard ale yeast, although lager yeast is acceptable, they feature light grain flavors of wheat without the Bavarian dog whistles of banana and clove. Hoppiness can vary from high to low. It also comes in light and dark versions. Clearly the most indeterminable of all the wheat styles, it is typically American, it can be anything it dreams itself to be. Of course whether anybody else believes it has achieved its dream is an open question or whether they wish to risk their well earned money on this indeterminate dream is even more debatable.

“O.G.: 1.030 – 1.050; Alcohol: 3.5 – 5%; IBUs: 5 – 17; SRM: 2 – 4.” 47 Commercial Examples -Shock Top, Bud Light Wheat

Wit or Belgian White Beer – A tangy “sharply refreshing”48 beer of low to medium body, brewed with up to 50% unmalted wheat. It also has malted barley and occasionally oats. Very white heads and hazy yellow white color is common. Spiced with hops, coriander seed and Curacao Orange peel those are flavors you may taste even without the assistance of a halo. Often bottle conditioned. Hoegarden and American variations on this style are rapidly making this the second most popular summer beer in the United States after the PAPs.
“Commercial examples: Hoegaarden Witbier, Celis White, Steendonk, Blanche de Namur, Titje, Wieckse Witte.” Blue Moon; Omegang Wit,
“O.G.: 1.044 – 1.050; Alcohol: 4.5 – 5%; IBUs: 20 – 35; SRM: 2 – 4.”49

Lambics There are five notable categories of Lambic, a very odd and ancient style of Belgian wheat beer. Generally 70% barley malt and 30% wheat, they rely upon natural or wild fermentation and are traditionally brewed only in the Senne Valley of Belgium. In other words, they do not put a specific yeast in to the wort, the yeast is whatever comes through the air or, some say more likely, from the wooden casks used to ferment them. They tend to be brewed only from October to May, because otherwise too many off tasting strains of yeast will get into them. The five categories are Gueuze, Faro, Unblended Lambic, Fruit Lambic and Kriek. (We at tavernator distinguish Kriek, a cherry lambic from other Fruit Lambic in that Kriek is almost a wine with the amount of fermented cherries in it. The other fruit Lambics,  framboise(raspberry), peche(peach), and cassis(black currant), while traditionally using whole fruit do not necessarily use a comparable amount fruit compared to the cherries in Kriek.) Lambics tend to be sour, even the traditional fruit ones, because they use whole fruit not just fruit syrups.50 The exception to this rule should be Faro a blended Lambic traditionally with sugar, molasses, or syrup added to sweeten it up and sometimes spiced with pepper, orange peel or coriander. Lambics have little to no hop bitterness because they use aged dried hops which lose much of the bittering characteristics while preserving their preservative characteristics. Unblended Lambics are just that and one would think would have more noticeably different characteristics and less evenness from year to year, much like a single malt scotch, but the aging process tends to mellow the tartness. Gueuze on the other hand are blended and then aged for an additional 2-3 years creating a drier fruitiness that may be even more intensely sour.
Big names in the Lambic business,which does not necessarily translate into big names in the brewing business include Girardin, Drie Fonteinin, Lindemanns, Timmerman, Cantillon, and Boon.51

Gose, originating in Leipzig, is the German response to the Belgian Gueuze or Gueuze is the Belgian response to Gose? (See Lambic’s above) This is another one of those medieval styles of beer that nearly went extinct except for a few taverns in and around Leipzig managing to keep it secretly alive while the reaiheitsgebot police rounded up the usual suspects. It is unfiltered “with 50-60% malted wheat, creat[ing] a cloudy yellow color, [kind of like a very sick old man’s piss,] and provid[ing] a refreshing crispness and twang.”52 Little to no hoppy bitterness, they are dry and spicy, from the common use of coriander and a sour sharpness from salt, unsure of timing, and lactic acid, in the boil, often being added. The original Gose may never have used hops depending upon its date of origin. Much like modern Lambics and Berliner Weisse, colorful and flavoured syrups are added to balance out the other influences.

ABV range: 4.0-5.0% [ ? ]

Gasthaus & Gosebrauerei Bayerischer Bahnhof’s Leipziger Gose, Upright’s Gose
Ernst Bauer’s Döllnitzer Rittergutsgose Leipziger, Portsmouth’s Gose , Racoon Lodge’s Cascade Spring Gose Cascade, Racoon Lodge’s Autumn Gose, Moonlight’s Sour Mash Wheat, Racoon Lodge’s
Cascade Winter Gose, Racoon Lodge’s Cascade Summer Gose, Dogfih Head’s Goser The Gosarian, Gose Draught House Pub & Brewery, Portsmouth’s Dunkel Gose
Herkimer’s Gose, Lowenbrau’s Döllnitzer Ritterguts Gose Mittweidaer, All Natural’s Opa’s Gose, Triumph’s Beau’s Gose, Golden City’s Goldener Gose, Brauhaus Goslar’s Helle Gose C. H. Evans’ Gose, Golden City’s Die Gosbier, [Colomba - Corsican White Beer].53

1. Background information was forcibly expropriated from the following, comparatively, reliable sites: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/ ; http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm ; http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style02.php ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/;

2. This will create absurdly arbitrary lines of demarcation that are sure to spawn dissatisfaction and disagreement among serious beer-heads with the entire project. If we are lucky it may even lead to the occasional bar fight. To further the annoyance and frustration with this project we will be publishing the definitions in incomplete form until we get around to finishing them completely and randomly change or contradict or both earlier definitions without explanation or edification.

3. Among Premium American Pilseners (PAP’s) Anheuser Busch’s, now In Bev’s, Budweiser tastes very different than Rolling Rock, another In Bev product. Budweiser uses rice as an adjunct grain and Rolling Rock uses both rice and corn. In speaking to people about the flavor of Corona without the ceremonial lime, another PAP despite its Mexican origins, some say it has a distinct bitter aftertaste or finish while others sense a distinct citrus note to its after taste or finish.(Maybe it is the psychosomatic effects of the ceremonial limes.)

4. “Dog Whistle” flavors – See Definitions

5. Unless you are french kissing, or performing cunnilingus or fellatio.

6. Unless it’s Coors Light, then stop and find something else. “Friends don’t let friends drink Coors Light.” To refine an old Latin saying, which is kind of redundant because any saying from ancient Rome is inherently old, “Mal degustobus non disputandem.” There is no point in arguing with poor taste.

7. Of course most beer connoisseurs are inveterate Anglo-philes who think a good night of entertainment is watching Sir Alistair Cooke introduce an episode of “Masterpiece Theatre.” They are really only looking justify the habit of serving English beer warm. The rest of us know the real answer to this one, British protectionist policies forced England’s dependence upon Lucas Electronics, a/k/a the “Prince of Darkness,” for everything from cars to refrigeration. The resulting inconsistency forced the British to serve their beer warm rather than risk it be spoiled by the constant change in temperature. Proof positive that government should not interfere with the invisible hand of the market.

8. The term is a fabulously clever combination of classical Marxist economic terminology with the ancient concept of the androgen, someone with no discernable sexual characteristics or personal characteristics contrary to their gender. (The use of “fabulously clever” is painfully bourgeoigenous)

9. “Wallace Stevens (October 2, 1879 – August 2, 1955) was an American Modernist poet. He was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, educated at Harvard and then New York Law School, and spent most of his life working as a lawyer for the Hartford insurance company in Connecticut.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Stevens “At work all day on [reviewing] contract instruments and actuarial tables . . .” http://www.kevinstevens.net/writings/wallacestevens.htm

“Dunbar loved shooting skeet because he hated every minute of it and the time passed so slowly. He had figured out that a single hour on the skeet-shooting range with people like Havermeyer and Appleby could be worth as much as eleven-times-seventeen years.
‘I think you’re crazy,’ was the way Clevinger had responded to Dunbar’s discovery.
‘Who wants to know?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I mean it,’ Clevinger insisted.
‘Who cares?’ Dunbar answered.
‘I really do. I’ll even go so far as to concede that life seems longer I -’
‘- is longer I -’
‘- is longer – Is longer? All right, is longer if it’s filled with periods of boredom and discomfort, b -’
‘Guess how fast?’ Dunbar said suddenly.
‘Huh?’
‘They go,’ Dunbar explained.
‘Years.’
‘Years.’
‘Years,’ said Dunbar. ‘Years, years, years.’
‘Clevinger, why don’t you let Dunbar alone?’ Yossarian broke in. ‘Don’t you realize the toll this is taking?’
‘It’s all right,’ said Dunbar magnanimously. ‘I have some decades to spare. Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’
‘And you shut up also,’ Yossarian told Orr, who had begun to snigger.
‘I was just thinking about that girl,’ Orr said. ‘That girl in Sicily. That girl in Sicily with the bald head.’
‘You’d better shut up also,’ Yossarian warned him.
‘It’s your fault,’ Dunbar said to Yossarian. ‘Why don’t you let him snigger if he wants to? It’s better than having him talking.’
‘All right. Go ahead and snigger if you want to.’
‘Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?’ Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. ‘This long.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.’
‘Old?’ asked Clevinger with surprise. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Old.’
‘I’m not old.’
‘You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?’ Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.
‘Well, maybe it is true,’ Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. ‘Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?’
‘I do,’ Dunbar told him.
‘Why?’ Clevinger asked.
‘What else is there?’”
http://paul.kedrosky.com/archives/2005/04/dunbar_investin.html excerpted from Joseph Heller’s CATCH-22.

“Est Amor pro Tabelleo Recenseo” the unofficial motto of New York Law School

10. “Dog Whistle” flavors is a term imparted to Tavernator.com by a man whose beer expertise is so essential to the continued national security of this nation that it would violate 15 levels of the National Security Code to reveal his true identity, so he can only be referred to by his sub-level 6 code name, Ice-Berg, even in this highly sensitive and most patriotic publication.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell . . . Dungggg! (Monty Python)

11. In fact one style of Lager beer, more specifically pilsener, became so popular that it was slowly extinguishing all other styles of beer, not designed to mimic its main characteristics, throughout the world. Then after World War II, advanced refrigeration made it possible for American Brewers to cut back on the more expensive formulations of beer, even their vaunted pilsener. They used heavily subsidized grain adjuncts like rice and corn and served them at such cold temperatures, anaesthetizing the drinkers taste buds so that they did not even notice it had no flavor. Then they took the savings on ingredients, plowed it back into advertising and drove out most of the competing brewers and almost all of the competing styles. Hence the birth of the Premium American Pilsener or PAP. Proof positive that the invisible hand of the market is so destructive that government intervention to halt its cancerous growth is essential for human survival.

12.  No, not that German Purity Law! . . . the beer purity law.

13. Yeast, although fully existent, was unknown to brewers of the age, largely to be discovered only hundreds of years later by scientists like Louis Pasteur and therefore not included in the law. Prior to its scientific discovery Brewers brought yeast into beer by taking sediment from previously brewed beer and adding it to the new wort.

14. The Germans seemed to follow this pattern on more than one occasion. They would test market a purity law in Bavaria and if they thought it would fly they shoved it down the throats of the rest of the country.

15. 1988 to be exact.

16. For more information see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot

17. Reinheitsgebot – See definitions. (Are we Dicks or what?)

18. http://www.franklinbrew.org/brewinfo/srm.html

19. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

20. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

21. “Just a Kiss of the hops” An advertising concept for Schlitz in the 1950′s and early ‘60′s to justify their not spending money on putting hops in your beer. Could well be applied to Munich Helles as well, but for very different reasons. Who knows maybe Schlitz was a PAP variation of Helles. See “Cold War Beer” at http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?p=119

22. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

23. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

24. (The Holy Roman Empire of Beers, (It was not holy, it was not Roman and it was definitely not an empire.) It is not Premium, i.e., the very best to be offered; they are cut down with lesser alcohol producing grains like rice or corn rather than go with pure barley malt to make them “smoother.” Moreover the term “Premium” was really applied to most of these beers as an advertising ploy; The fact is many of these companies marking their beer as premium have another beer which is meant to be superior, which is not possible if it is truly premium; it is not “American” in that now most nations world wide produce some variation of this style of beer and most of those beers are the biggest sellers in their country(See Commercial examples below and the BJCP website); and it is definitely not pilsener. It does not have sufficient flavor, does not use the correct ingredients and is just generally a “hot mess”* as far as beer is concerned. That being said, if you do not have a favorite PAP, or some variation thereof, you probably never drank beer in the past 100 years.)

*Hot Mess is Proletandrogenous – i.e. working class androgenous. Although popularized by the most successful female member of bourgeoisie it is clearly “street” or ”ghetto” speak and even in our classless society, because everybody is middle class here, the “ghetto” or the “ street” remain the proles and that is much of the charm, to the bourgi’s of such a phrase.

25. Those brewed with corn may give off a taste of corn alcohol, especially then drinking a PAP after drinking an all barley malt brew. Rice brewed PAP’s tend to be even smoother leaving only light hops, but they are a real break from the true “American” tradition of corn brews, first developed by the Incas. (Only without the malted barley and hops.) Even these beers can leave off flavours when drank in tandem with their all barley malt cousins.

26. Yet despite all that they quench a hot thirst like no other beer and are so light in alcohol flavour, etc., you hardly realize you drank one before moving onto the next. “Schaeffer . . . is the . . . one beer to have, when your having more than one!” From an advertising perspective, the target audience PAP drinker is a white male “Old Glory” flag waving,* xenophobe who thinks the country is going to hell in a hand basket because the President of the United States is a black man with a Arab (long a) name whose government won’t keep their hands off his Medicare, Social Security, and his pipe dreams of imperialist glory in Iraq and Afghanistan.

*Confederate flags are an acceptable alternative, Nazi flags are, please excuse the oxymoron here, a bit gauche.

27. “http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php”

28. It is hard not to laugh because it is such an abuse of the English language to create a product that is superior to your “premium product.”

29. These group results found the following about the target audience – college educated yuppies who really only wanted to broaden their wallets so they can lord it over the Jones’s, but not their intellectual horizons: In other words white male near-”Old Glory” flag waving coded- xenophobes who think the country is going to hell in a hand basket, but who speak in euphemisms and code phrases so as to distinguish themselves as socio-economically superior to their actually-flag waving brethren, but not be so outside the socially acceptable norms of mother god and country and be confused with pointy headed intellectual beerheads. These yuppies had, surprisingly enough, sufficient intellectual sense, from more than a decade of pounding it in them, that the inherent redundancy of “Super Premium” made them feel vaguely uncomfortable. It was as though such advertising language would not only attract them to the product, but also their actually-flag waving brethren defeating the whole purpose of drinking the product for them; i.e. to drink a product with sufficient brand implications to induce the appearance of superior socio-economic position, yet without sufficient flavor distinction to risk looking like some sort of weirdo beerhead. In other words Super PAPs have little discernable difference than a PAP other than brand identification.

30. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

31. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

32. http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style01.php

33. Apparently the modern Boston Brewery of Sam Adams fame, was the old Haffenreffer Brewery, which had bought out the original Boston Brewery. Private Stock is not currently available, but it may make a comeback. http://www.falstaffbrewing.com/haffenreffer.htm

34. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/6, http://www.bjcp.org/2008styles/style06.php, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream_ale; If you read this definition before, your eyes are not deceiving you it did originally read “Spawned from the depths of banality that marked the Premium American Pilsener Era, alternatively referred to as the Cold War Era, which spanned the years of 1946 to 1984.” Further review of the facts: The Editors recalled that Yuengling once produced Olde Oxford Cream Ale in the 1930′s; and further review of the the bjcp website above; commanded the modification of this sentence.

35. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm Effervescence, such a wonderfully Anglo description for carbonation and esthers are a sort of alcohol that tends to give off fruit aromas and flavors or for some people a cheap alcohol flavour.

36. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

37.  Choose your source. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style.php/85/?start=20, http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%B6lsch

38. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

39. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

40. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

41. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

42. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

43. The Prussian answer to Lambics.

44. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm this product not only impinges upon the iconic Miller High Life’s  trademark phrase, but threatens the Mike’s Hard Lemonade market.

45.  Sounds like a forgettable sexual encounter with an effervescent moderately bourgeoigenous Kraut Goth. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

46. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

47. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm

48. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm “Sharply refreshing” another wonderfully Anglo turn of the phrase, that sounds like it is saying something, but really isn’t. After all how sharp? Sharp enough to cut through those caked on levels of sand, dead skin and dried saliva after you come off the Sahara spending the day in  a dead camel’s rotting stomach to avoid the high heat? I suspect not. Once again one of those “beer expert” phrases that seem to be accompanied by halos. (See Definitions Dog Whistle Flavors.)

49. http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/beer/beersty1.htm.

50. The non-traditional ones using fruit syrup tend to be noticeably sweeter and some enthusiasts feel it is undermining the whole genre. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic

51. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/14

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/50

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/15

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/10

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic

52. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16

53. http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style/16. Also Tavernator ran across Colomba Corsican White Beer, at Bacchus in Brooklyn, which is may be more similar to a Wit or Hefeweizen, but it does use Orange and coriander, but herbes du maquis (strawberry tree, myrtle, cistus, and juniper). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pietra; Pietra offers a couple of other potentially fascinating brands, that we have not had a chance to imbibe.

, A sentence about the fermenting process was also corrected here as well based upon the wikipedia info.

Guys

We at Tavernator are very excited to introduce you to our newest blog, Billy-Bob’s Beer Blog. This blog will be sort of an open forum on beer, beer tasting/beer styles and bars or other places where beer is imbibed.  We consider it to be a breath of fresh air compared to the stodgy, overly formalistic Beer Theory of History. In other words we heard your complaints and have responded.

For the 25 or so of you who really like the Beer Theory of History, do not panic, Beertheostorian A is still buying the beer, so we are keeping that blog going.

The Editors

Please note that none of us over here at Tavernator claim to be beer tasting experts. We know what we like, but that may not be what you like. To that end we will try to include descriptors, such as our favorite session beers, etc. so maybe you will get a better idea of where we are coming from. Additionally, we have an interesting and varied knowledge that goes with over 100 years of combined drinking experience. We will be working on developing our own style of descriptions, but at this time we refer you to http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style for immediately available descriptions and rankings. We also do not necessarily agree with any of the rankings over at Beer Advocate and would even argue that they are heavily slanted towards beer snobs, but then again so are we, the bigger the price tag the more we tend to like it.

Sponsor a Byline Beer Theory Article (click for details)

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Please note that none of us over here at Tavernator claim to be beer tasting experts. We know what we like, but that may not be what you like. To that end we will try to include descriptors, such as our favorite session beers, etc. so maybe you will get a better idea of where we are coming from. Additionally, we have an interesting and varied knowledge that goes with over 100 years of combined drinking experience. We will be working on developing our own style of descriptions, but at this time we refer you to http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style for immediately available descriptions and rankings. We also do not necessarily agree with any of the rankings over at Beer Advocate and would even argue that they are heavily slanted towards beer snobs, but then again so are we, the bigger the price tag the more we tend to like it.By Android

Over the summer I was out with a friend of mine at a place called Bailey’s Smokehouse in Blauvelt, New York. (No the friend was not one of the  soccer moms.) What struck me was they had Abita Turbo-dog on tap there. The beer was tad bit smoother, maybe not quite as distinct a smokey flavor you get from Turbo-Dog out of the bottle. Baileys also has some very interesting beer foods being a smokehouse. Probably the most anomalous was the Texas Lollipop. This is a local Butcher’s sausage, smoked at Bailey’s, cut up, placed on a skewer, and served with a very healthy dollop of Bailey’s apple butter based barbeque sauce.  Real tasty and went well with the Turbo-Dog. Bailey’s also had some other interesting offerings including a Long Trail Blackberry Ale, and Peak Organic Brown Ale.  The Peak Organic was only available in the bottle, but it was very tasty. The Long Trail was palatable, and tasted like blackberries, but I am generally not a fruit beer fan myself.

I would like to make a special shout out to David Carlucci, Clarkstown Town Clerk, he is one of the biggest celebrities I know, so you know I am not even on the G List. He turned me on to Sierra Nevada SummerFest Lager. Real tasty stuff and it became one of my main summer session beers. David, thanks for the clue in. This is categorized by Beer Advocate as a Czech style Pilsener. They only rate it at a B or B+. Clearly, it tops out in the A range in my book.

Android’s favorites:

Session Beers:
Harpoon IPA, (IPA;s Generally) Harpoon Summer Ale, Sierra Nevada Summerfest, Shipyard’s Old Thumper, Boddington’s Draught.

Seasonal favorites
Sam Adams, Harpoon or Saranac Oktoberfest, (Kind of depends upon the year which one I like the best)

Special Treats: Ommegang Abbey Dubbel, Especially in the winter, but other times as well. Arrogant Bastard Ale, Delerium Tremors, Maudite, Anchor Steam, Harpoon Celtic Irish Red

Slumming beer: Budweiser, Genessee Cream Ale, Rolling Rock, Swinkels, “More beer swilling swine prefer to swill Swinkels when copious quantities are required!”

Guys

We at Tavernator are very excited to introduce you to our newest blog, Billy-Bob’s Beer Blog. This blog will be sort of an open forum on beer, beer tasting/beer styles and bars or other places where beer is imbibed.  We consider it to be a breath of fresh air compared to the stodgy, overly formalistic Beer Theory of History. In other words we heard your complaints and have responded.

For the 25 or so of you who really like the Beer Theory of History, do not panic, Beertheostorian A is still buying the beer, so we are keeping that blog going.

The Editors

Please note that none of us over here at Tavernator claim to be beer tasting experts. We know what we like, but that may not be what you like. To that end we will try to include descriptors, such as our favorite session beers, etc. so maybe you will get a better idea of where we are coming from. Additionally, we have an interesting and varied knowledge that goes with over 100 years of combined drinking experience. We will be working on developing our own style of descriptions, but at this time we refer you to http://beeradvocate.com/beer/style for immediately available descriptions and rankings. We also do not necessarily agree with any of the rankings over at Beer Advocate and would even argue that they are heavily slanted towards beer snobs, but then again so are we, the bigger the price tag the more we tend to like it.