Home   Log in   BEER MAP   BILLYBOB'S BEERBLOG  DEFINITIONS  CONTACT US

Definitions:

Adjunct: Usually a grain, such as corn, Rolling Rock, Miller, or rice, Anheuser Busch that is not approved by the German Rheinheitsgebot, which requires all beer to be made from water, malted barley, hops, and yeast* and nothing else. *Yeast was not included in the original law as they did not have the scientific knowledge to identify yeast as the catalyst for fermentation.

Cutting edge of large American trend: Any person who is more than 20% heavier than their ideal height to weight ratio, or more commonly known as clinically obese.

Imbeerialism or imbeerialist refers to a concept or a nation practicing the concept, consciously or unconsciously, that the nation with the most and best beer wins and that winning means being able to dominate and influence the socio-economic, cultural, and political structures of other
nations as a result of this beer superiority.

John Grisham Like Legal Career: An attorney who turns to writing books for a more steady source of income than their legal work.

Peak Oil: A really depressing concept that we have reached a peak in global production of oil and it is all downhill from here. Dick Cheney even did a speech on it in 1999, but as evidence of how discredited the theory is today, Mr. Cheney has never verified theory while in office. There is also some expectation that Santa Claus will be the primary source of oil in about fifty years or so.

Phillip Morris: Tobacco giant who owns the Virginia Slims brand of cigarettes, who in 1968 started the “You’ve come a long way baby” advertising campaign and with its profits were the first to sponsor women’s professional tennis. This has encouraged women throughout the years to take up tennis, a sport everyone agrees if participated in, can have significant health benefits. Just look at the health of Anna Kournikova, Venus Williams and Maria Sharapova. No one can deny that Phillip Morris made this possible. Large breweries, like Anheuser Busch have also supported healthy activities like soccer, football and baseball, so it follows that brewing and tobacco are legitimately part of the health industry and have been directly responsible for its growth, along with companies like McDonalds.

Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus: Someone who started their college career at The Johns Hopkins University (JHU), but completed it elsewhere. This category of alumnus is not officially recognized by JHU nor has it ever even been used in private conversations by officials of JHU.

AIF – The Anti-Imbeerialist Front – Beertheostorian A’s definition -An organization of pointy headed intellectual anarchist freaks who live on a utopian cloud 9, not to be confused with Magic Hat no. 9, although I suspect that Magic Hat is crawling with AIF sympathizers, believing that good beer should be produced all over the world and that this will improve the lot of all mankind. I am lobbying to have them placed on the terrorist watch list and subjected to full body cavity searches every time they try to set foot on a plane. They also regularly engage in miscegenation, homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality.AIF’s self definition – We do not engage in nor support the legalization of pedophilia and bestiality. We support the legalization of homosexual marriage as a fundamental human right to have control over your own body and the right to be treated as equals before the eyes of the law. We find the term miscegenation offensive and consider bi-racial relations so legally and socially acceptable as to be a fully functioning part of mainstream society. Additionally, in researching Beertheostorian A’s background it appears he has some bi-racial heritage. (The Editor’s – They bought us some really good beer to copy and turnover some personal papers on Beertheostorian A.)

ALE Party – The American Libeerale Party – Beertheostorian A’s definition – An organization of pointy headed intellectual near wine drinking weanies who generally believe that international bodies can and should work together to ensure the continued growth of good beer production throughout the world. Yet, ultimately they believe that United States hegemony in this area is essential to maintain world stability. They also believe in miscegenation, homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality, but we need these freaks to defeat the AIF.

(The Editors) The ALE Party has asked us: one, never to accept a six pack in exchange for allowing Beertheostorian A to write definitions describing their organization; (We agreed to hold out for a case the next time.)

ALE Party’s self definition – The ALE Party supports the right of homosexuals to be married; no member of the organization has a pointy head; that miscegenation is too offensive a term to use to describe bi-racial marriage by any post neanderthal humans living in the 21st Century; and that while we acknowledge the existence of bestiality and pedophilia we oppose its legalization on the grounds that it is, for lack of a better term, bestial activity.

(The Editors – Some members can be a bit pompous and boring though.)

APA – The American PreservAlest Society – Beertheostorian A’s and organizational self devfinition – a collegial organization of upstanding American citizenry committed to the notion that the nation that produces the most and best beer wins. We are firm believers in American Exceptionalism, that America produces the most exceptional beer in the world, and that under no circumstances should the United States ever allow any competing nations, either by alliances, beer build up, underhanded investment strategies or other means to undermine its world wide beer supremacy. “Give me libeerty or give me death.”

(The Editors) American Exceptionalism in general political parlance refers to the concept that the United States is such a beacon of freedom, democracy and morality and that other nations are so jealous corrupt and/or dictatorial, that the United States should be excepted from or not held to International Norms, such as International Law.