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Beertheostorian A is a Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus of The Johns Hopkins University. He is currently an attorney who is experiencing a John Grisham like legal career. He is also involved in the cutting edge of one of the largest trends in America today. (See definitions)

Definitions:

Adjunct: Usually a grain, such as corn, Rolling Rock, Miller, or rice, Anheuser Busch that is not approved by the German Rheinheitsgebot, which requires all beer to be made from water, malted barley, hops, and yeast* and nothing else. *Yeast was not included in the original law as they did not have the scientific knowledge to identify yeast as the catalyst for fermentation.

Cutting edge of large American trend: Any person who is more than 20% heavier than their ideal height to weight ratio, or more commonly known as clinically obese.

John Grisham Like Legal Career: An attorney who turns to writing books for a more steady source of income than their legal work.

Imbeerialism or imbeerialist refers to a concept or a nation practicing the concept, consciously or unconsciously, that the nation with the most and best beer wins and that winning means being able to dominate and influence the socio-economic, cultural, and political structures of other
nations as a result of this beer superiority.

Peak Oil: A really depressing concept that we have reached a peak in global production of oil and it is all downhill from here. Dick Cheney even did a speech on it in 1999, but as evidence of how discredited the theory is today, Mr. Cheney has never verified theory while in office. There is also some expectation that Santa Claus will be the primary source of oil in about fifty years or so.

Phillip Morris: Tobacco giant who owns the Virginia Slims brand of cigarettes, who in 1968 started the “You’ve come a long way baby” advertising campaign and with its profits were the first to sponsor women’s professional tennis. This has encouraged women throughout the years to take up tennis, a sport everyone agrees if participated in, can have significant health benefits. Just look at the health of Anna Kournikova, Venus Williams and Maria Sharapova. No one can deny that Phillip Morris made this possible. Large breweries, like Anheuser Busch have also supported healthy activities like soccer, football and baseball, so it follows that brewing and tobacco are legitimately part of the health industry and have been directly responsible for its growth, along with companies like McDonalds.

Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus: Someone who started their college career at The Johns Hopkins University (JHU), but completed it elsewhere. This category of alumnus is not officially recognized by JHU nor has it ever even been used in private conversations by officials of JHU.