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The Beer Theory of History – Introduction

September 7th, 2008 by admin | 10 Comments | Filed in Ancient History, Essentials of Beertheostory, Introduction, Post Cold War - 1989, Post French Revolution, Post Gutenberg Press - 1440, Post Western Roman Empire - 500 A.D., Post World War II

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by Beertheostorian A 1
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As we all know, the United States of America is currently the world’s sole superpower. What is not well understood is that the United States holds this lofty position through its foundation as the greatest beer producing nation in the history of mankind. It is this fact that makes the Beer Theory of History so important to understand and develop. The basic premise of the beer theory of history is simple, the nation that produces the most and best beer wins; i.e., the world’s leading imbeerialist power.2 Yet, beyond this basic premise, the exact formula for success is unclear. The trends can be charted, but our operations do not have access to the high level computer modeling software and hardware necessary to devise the exact formula.

What we do know is that America produces billions of gallons of beer annually and a significant portion of it outstanding beer. No longer are we a nation where Australians could legitimately joke, “Why is American beer like making love in a canoe? . . . Because it is fucking close to water!” While America still produces beer deserving of such a quip, Coors Light being the most notorious offender in this category, we’ve “come a long way baby!”3 With great offerings from the likes of the Ommegang Brewery of Cooperstown, NY, Shipyard Brewery of Portland, Maine, the Harpoon Brewery of Boston, the Dogfishhead Brewery of Delaware, Abita Brewery in Louisiana, let alone the great breweries of the west like Mendicino, Anchor, or Stone Brewing companies, just to name a few, we have surpassed brewing mediocrities, like Australia, not only in production of the quantity of beer, but in the production of high quality beer. With our superior water supply, we now stand at the precipice of true greatness producing the best of the best: better German style beers than the Germans; better English style beers than the English; better Belgian style beers than the Belgians; better Czech style beers than the Czechs. America is no longer the laughingstock of the beer producing world. It was the growth of this great beer production which forced the capitulation of our closest imbeerialist rival, the Soviet Union.4

We even produce great IPA’s, an essential ingredient in any successful imbeerialist project since their inception.5

Despite all this progress from the mid to early 1980’s onward, currently, the United States has fallen behind China in total beer production, since about 2003. Fortunately, we still produce more great beer and since the concept is most and best beer, the U. S., still retains an advantage. Unfortunately, with the Belgian/Brazilian combine, In Bev, buying out our largest brewer, Anheuser Busch, the waters become murkier as to what is or is not American Beer production.

In light of these changes, developing this knowledge, creating and fine tuning the predictive historical formulas has become critical to ensuring continued American world hegemony, the whole point of imbeerialism or for that matter imperialism. Ensuring continued beer hegemony is the foremost issue in our nation’s plethora of national security concerns even usurping Islamo-fascist terrorism and bears. This is why I am calling on the U.S. government to commission me to conduct a study, using our top theoretical mathematicians, and historical statisticians to coordinate and organize all of the available information so we can determine where America now stands in terms Peak Beer.6 Figuring in the additional expenses involved with developing computer modeling hardware, software, intelligence and data gathering activities under highly classified or top secret conditions, standard cost overruns and the need for extreme redundancy, such a study would only cost 2 or 3 billion dollars. This is a bargain considering this is the nation’s top national security issue. As the primary contractor, I would hope to bring the kind of efficiencies that private companies, like Haliburton, have brought to government spending in places like Iraq or Katrina relief in New Orleans.

This web-log is the first salvo in an effort to raise American consciousness to the political necessity of understanding and adapting to the beer theory of history. You the people, must express the necessary desire to your President, Congressman, and Senators that this $2 – 3 billion study, headed by me as the primary or General Contractor, is a necessary and essential effort in ensuring the continuing hegemony of this nation in world affairs.7 Over time, this web-log will arm you with the necessary knowledge you need to pursue this agenda. This blog will provide irrefutable anecdotal evidence of this theory backed by statistical analogy.8 It should be noted that all serious historians all agree that beer was an important drink for the ancient Sumerian and Egyptian civilizations and some historians even believe it was the core product around which these civilizations formed. This blog will address those issues as well as the conundrums of Greek and Roman civilizations, from the rise of modern European hegemony to the rise of the United States as a Super Power. The blog will also feature famous figures from history and their connection to the Beer Theory of History. The blog will also demonstrate how brewers have always had their hands on the levers of power in great civilizations and the impact a former brewer had on the trajectory of world history. The blog will also address contemporary issues and crises, the most pressing being the wine revolution in America today. For anybody with any doubts, this is a work of serious and learned scholarship.9 Its conclusions should not be trifled with lightly.10 I call upon you, the American people to make this dream a reality and save America from sinking into the mediocrity and decline that has afflicted previous great hegemonists like Great Britain, France, Rome, or Egypt.

Definitions:

Adjunct: Usually a grain, such as corn, Rolling Rock, Miller, or rice, Anheuser Busch that is not approved by the German Rheinheitsgebot, which requires all beer to be made from water, malted barley, hops, and yeast* and nothing else. *Yeast was not included in the original law as they did not have the scientific knowledge to identify yeast as the catalyst for fermentation.

Cutting edge of large American trend: Any person who is more than 20% heavier than their ideal height to weight ratio, or more commonly known as clinically obese.

John Grisham Like Legal Career: An attorney who turns to writing books for a more steady source of income than their legal work.

Imbeerialism or imbeerialist refers to a concept or a nation practicing the concept, consciously or unconsciously, that the nation with the most and best beer wins and that winning means being able to dominate and influence the socio-economic, cultural, and political structures of other
nations as a result of this beer superiority.

Peak Oil: A really depressing concept that we have reached a peak in global production of oil and it is all downhill from here. Dick Cheney even did a speech on it in 1999, but as evidence of how discredited the theory is today, Mr. Cheney has never verified theory while in office. There is also some expectation that Santa Claus will be the primary source of oil in about fifty years or so.

Phillip Morris: Tobacco giant who owns the Virginia Slims brand of cigarettes, who in 1968 started the “You’ve come a long way baby” advertising campaign and with its profits were the first to sponsor women’s professional tennis. This has encouraged women throughout the years to take up tennis, a sport everyone agrees if participated in, can have significant health benefits. Just look at the health of Anna Kournikova, Venus Williams and Maria Sharapova. No one can deny that Phillip Morris made this possible. Large breweries, like Anheuser Busch have also supported healthy activities like soccer, football and baseball, so it follows that brewing and tobacco are legitimately part of the health industry and have been directly responsible for its growth, along with companies like McDonalds.

Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus: Someone who started their college career at The Johns Hopkins University (JHU), but completed it elsewhere. This category of alumnus is not officially recognized by JHU nor has it ever even been used in private conversations by officials of JHU.

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1 (The Editors) Beertheostorian A is a Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus of The Johns Hopkins University. He is currently an attorney who is experiencing a John Grisham like legal career. He is also involved in the cutting edge of one of the largest trends in America today. (See definitions)

2 See Definitions.

3 We acknowledge that we are borrowing a joke from Monty Python, live at the Hollywood Bowl (See http://www.montypython.net/hbowlmm1.php) and a phrase from our brethren in the health industry, Phillip Morris. (see definitions)

4 (The Editors) See our upcoming blog entry, “How Jimmy Carter and Sam Adams won the Cold War.” or something similarly titled.

5 IPA Imperialist Project Ale, often commonly referred to as India Pale Ale. This is a standard British style pale ale supercharged with extra hops and a higher alcohol content to survive the trip from Britain to India. Developed around the 1780’s for export to troops supporting British Imbeerialism in India and later other parts of the world. The long voyage would age the beer mellowing out some of the extremes the extra hops and alcohol would otherwise add to the flavour.

6 Peak Beer, a concept similar to Peak Oil where a nation has reached its Peak Beer producing capacity based upon available resources and reasonable demand. (See Definitions) Fortunately for the United States, Peak Beer is not as harsh an absolute as Peak Oil in terms of supply as certain simple policy changes could easily increase the availability of malted barley and hops, annually renewable resources. It is the demand side that is of greater concern as Americans increasingly choose wine as a beverage of choice. In the early 1980’s it appeared that the United States had achieved Peak Beer status as Breweries closings continued unabated. Yet policy changes implemented by Jimmy Carter and continued by Ronald Reagan would reverse this trend. See Footnote 4 above.

7(The Editors) Since the Government, in its myopia, inertia and lethargy, can not be relied upon to address this trend, it will be up to us, the public, through private industry to address and remedy this national security issue. Remember what is good for tavernator.com is good for America, so we ask you to spread the word, comment, and even create and obtain sponsored entries. ( See Definitions) Also trust us, Beertheostorian A in charge of $2 to $3 billion dollar classified budget is a truly scary thought. He might begin extracting U.S. citizens to be tortured by overseas governments, starting with us.

8 (The Editors) At least, more irrefutable than the evidence and justifications used to get us into the Second Iraq War.

9 (The Editors) For people who have a fundamental misunderstanding of what serious and learned mean.

10 (The Editors) By people who have no more than an 8th grade understanding of political and economic history.

© 2008 Beertheostory, Inc.

(The Editors) Beertheostorian A is a Spiro T. Agnew Alumnus of The Johns Hopkins University. He is currently an attorney who is experiencing a John Grisham like legal career. He is also involved in the cutting edge of one of the largest trends in America today. (See definitions)
See Definitions.
We acknowledge that we are borrowing a joke from Monty Python, live at the Hollywood Bowl (See http://www.montypython.net/hbowlmm1.php) and a phrase from our brethren in the health industry, Phillip Morris. (see definitions)
(The Editors) See our upcoming blog entry, “How Jimmy Carter and Sam Adams won the Cold War.” or something similarly titled.
IPA Imperialist Project Ale, often commonly referred to as India Pale Ale. This is a standard British style pale ale supercharged with extra hops and a higher alcohol content to survive the trip from Britain to India. Developed around the 1780’s for export to troops supporting British Imbeerialism in India and later other parts of the world. The long voyage would age the beer mellowing out some of the extremes the extra hops and alcohol would otherwise add to the flavour.
Peak Beer, a concept similar to Peak Oil where a nation has reached its Peak Beer producing capacity based upon available resources and reasonable demand. (See Definitions) Fortunately for the United States, Peak Beer is not as harsh an absolute as Peak Oil in terms of supply as certain simple policy changes could easily increase the availability of malted barley and hops, annually renewable resources. It is the demand side that is of greater concern as Americans increasingly choose wine as a beverage of choice. In the early 1980’s it appeared that the United States had achieved Peak Beer status as Breweries closings continued unabated. Yet policy changes implemented by Jimmy Carter and continued by Ronald Reagan would reverse this trend. See Footnote 4 above.
(The Editors) Since the Government, in its myopia, inertia and lethargy, can not be relied upon to address this trend, it will be up to us, the public, through private industry to address and remedy this national security issue. Remember what is good for tavernator.com is good for America, so we ask you to spread the word, comment, and even create and obtain sponsored entries. ( See Definitions) Also trust us, Beertheostorian A in charge of $2 to $3 billion dollar classified budget is a truly scary thought. He might begin extracting U.S. citizens to be tortured by overseas governments, starting with us.
(The Editors) At least, more irrefutable than the evidence and justifications used to get us into the Second Iraq War.
(The Editors) For people who have a fundamental misunderstanding of what serious and learned mean.
(The Editors) By people who have no more than an 8th grade understanding of political and economic history.

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Egypt First Imbeerialist Power? Part 2

November 22nd, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Ancient History

By UAI

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As stated earlier the Egyptians loved beer. Osiris, founded a beer king dynasty as well as acting as the god of sacred grains barley and emmer, both used variously in Egyptian beer production.1 It became the standard for a days minimum wage.2 Beer was so powerful a product that their was even advertising slogans for it “The mouth of the perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”3 Beer was a regular part of a meal as well as an important part of religious ritual. The Goddess Hathor’s temples produced a non-alcoholic beer where the alcohol was boiled off as an offering to the Goddess with the remainder given out to parishioners in exchange for a tithe;4 almost daily pouring beer over some god or godess’ statuary;5 as well as used in steamy religious rituals for Hathor, channeling the Ninkasi cults of Sumeria, where the Priestesses would dance erotically, garbed only in a waist band from which hung hollowed out pearls with pebbles placed inside, while serving the parishioners mandrake laced beer until the parishioners and priestesses “were in direct contact with the world beyond.”6

An Egyptian admonition to engage in virtuous behavior said, “[d]o not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love and celebrate the good days.”7 Children were named “How drunk is Cheops” or “How intoxicated is Hathor” where the Ancient Egyptian word for “drunk” or “intoxicated” had to have the underlying meaning of how close to a given god or goddess is Cheops or Hathor.8

Ancient Egypt in many ways was a matriarchal society, not necessarily in determination of lineage and estate property distribution, which may have differed greatly from current or even medieval standards, but in actual power relations. The women were the primary brewers whether in the household or in a religious order.9 Exalting, rather than denigrating, women’s role in the religious production, service, and consumption of beer including the rituals that accompanied its consumption, such as the religious strip-tease dances(sexual intercourse?), placed the women of Ancient Egypt in a seat of power.10 Because women controlled these acts from a position of spiritual interaction with the gods and goddesses, women wielded great power over men in all social arenas of Egyptian life.11 This may have been a carryover from the Sumerian cult of Ninkasi as most historians believe now that Egypt derived its beer from Sumeria12 While women may not have been more powerful than men in Egyptian society, they certainly were not aggressively relegated to a subordinate status as they have been in much of the Judeo- Christeo-Islamic traditions.

In Egypt Hathor seemed to fulfill the role of Ninkasi13 by being both a goddess of beer and love.14 Yet, Egypt had a second goddess of beer, Bes the deformed dwarf goddess of childbirth.15 Bes the ancient Egyptian Goddess of childbirth, known for her fondness of beer, was often presented as a dwarf and her spiritual association with beer in ancient Egyptian religion is outranked only by Hathor.

And so it flowed through Egyptian society for nearly 3000 years, occasionally overrun by barbarians only to convert them to the Egyptian life-style or drive them out if they could not adjust. The last of these waves of barbarians came in the form of the relatively cultured Alexander the Great and his Greek and Macedonian minions.16 Alexander the Great, as many of you already know was the great conqueror of the ancient world, only to be usurped in terms of land mass controlled by the Mongols Ghengis Khan and later Tamerlane in the middles ages. Alexander conquered from Greece to India and from the Black Sea to the Sudan. Egypt, along with most of the decently civilized world all fell within his grip.

Fortunately, for his top generals and the inherently fractious Macedonian ruling class, and unfortunately, for his continuing legacy, Alexander’s only legitimate child who was born posthumously and left an easy target for assassination in the wars of succession that followed. Ultimately four of his top generals managed to breakaway large chunks of his empire and make it their own. 17

One of those four, the Ptolemaic Kingdom, in Egypt, founded by Ptolemy, would be the last of the Egyptian dynasties. Slowly expiring as an independent empire, Egypt had lost its hold on Judea and the Levant many years before. More recently Egypt had been twice conquered by the Persians in the previous two hundred years before welcoming Alexander as a liberator. Keep in mind that Persia controlled Sumeria throughout much of this period carrying with it the ancient beer power of that region.

Ptolemy realized that using Egypt as a base of operations from which to try to wrest control of the rest of Alexander’s empire was a safe move. Yet, Egyptian beer power was never enough by itself to extend his power permanently into Greece or Syria where he always had to contend with the Sumerian supported Seleucid Empire. Despite this limitation, he left behind a stable Egyptian dynasty committed to the sacred production of beer, appended with the Greek tendencies to promote the growth and collection of knowledge, such as the sponsoring of great mathematicians, like Euclid, or the first incarnations of the Libraries of Alexandria. 18

The danger to this “beautiful” marriage lay in the fact that the ruling class was inherently a wine drinking class, being of Greek extraction.19 Even more ominously, the Roman ruling class, clearly on the ascendency throughout the Mediterranean, also preferred wine although still largely dependent upon allied beer drinking troops to carry forth their imperial ambitions. It was this potent combination of Roman ascendency and Ptolemaic indifference to the central role that beer played in Egyptian society that lead to the ultimate downfall of Egypt as an independent power in the region.

Throughout the Ptolemaic rule of Egypt wine slowly crept in as the chic beverage of choice among the Egypto-Greek ruling class. While official lip service was paid to the beer gods and goddesses, the leaders’ hearts were no longer in the culture’s drink. 20 It was at this point Marc Antony, a consul of Rome, and the late Julius Caesar’s closest lieutenant, arrived in Egypt to escape the wrath of Octavian, Rome’s imperator to be, also named Julius Ceasar’s sole heir and adopted son in his will. Marc Antony also came probably to seek the glory and riches that could be obtained in successful campaigns in the East, and to engage in a possible war for Roman ascension himself. On the other side of this equation, the Greco-Egyptian ruling class remained in near disarray having suffered through a civil war between Cleopatra and her husband/brother Ptolemy the XIII. As a result of this civil war and other military campaigns later engaged by Cleopatra, the great wealth of Egypt had been slowly bled out through her hands.

Within a few years, Octavian felt he could no longer tolerate Marc Antony’s existence. Equally as distressing for Octavian, Cleopatra’s son Ceasarian, by way of Julius Caesar, was getting to an age where he could challenge Octavian as the sole legitimate heir of Caesar. This is the same son, for whom Cleopatra apparently started a civil war over and assassinated two of her brothers. He was now a target of the bulk of the Roman Empire. Cleopatra needed funds to feed and arm an army which Marc Antony could take onto the field and destroy the ascending Octavian and his Roman hordes and place her son as the legitimate ruler of both Rome and Egypt. To do so she imposed the world’s first beer tax;21 an act so at odds with the cultural beliefs of the people and a betrayal of the gods from which beer power flowed, Hathor could only respond in one way at the hubris of Cleopatra and the Egyptian people’s failure to end her blasphemous rule: plaguing Marc Antony’s and her fleet with a malaria outbreak, sending one of Marc Antony’s top admiral’s, with a copy of his battle plans over to Octavian, and stymying Marc Antony’s and Cleopatra’s respective fleets with mis-communication leading to the crushing defeat of the much larger Egypto-Roman navy by the Roman navy in the Battle of Actium.22

The political fallout of this battle was so devastating that within a year; despite escaping alive, Marc Antony and Cleopatra would commit suicide; Caesarian would be murdered; and Egypt would fall from the list of the world’s great empires and relegated to colonial status for the next 2000 years. Under a parade of rulers, the Egyptian people suffered the indignity of subjagation to the Romans, to the Byzantium Christians, to the Arab and Turkish Muslims, to the various European satrapies, until finally in the mid-20th Century they could reclaim full independence, only to suffer four ignomious defeats at the hands of the only beer drinking power in the region, Israel. This was the devastating impact of the world’s first beer tax upon a people whose culture and religious beliefs were built and centered around beer for nearly 3000 years; nearly 2000 years of repeated denigrating subjugation and defeat, so insidious that the majority of the people adopted a religion that eschews beer and the women who provided it. 23

1. http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629, Egyptian Beer for the Living, the Dead … and the Gods, by: HorstDornbusch on Monday – February 28, 2005.

2. Eames, Alan, The Secret Life of Beer: Legends, Lore
and Little Known Facts, (Hereinafter Secret Life) Storey Publishing Pownal, VT, 1995 – pg. 73. (Nobody asked to be paid in gum, but they apparently did ask to be paid in beer. Unlike gum it is not an absurd way to measure the value of labor. Are you listening purveyors of Trident Layers)

3. Secret Life. Pg. 97. UAI – It probably rolls off the tongue much more poetically in Ancient Egyptian. English can be so banally utilitarian.)

4. Secret Life pg. 74.

5. Secret Life pg. 80.

6. (The Editors – they achieved a state of spiritual fucking unity!) http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629 Mandrake root is a hallucinogenic narcotic legendarily used in witchcraft which is rather poisonous unless very carefully dosed. Somewhat similar in look to ginger root it usually takes a sort of stick figure human shape and is mythologically said to scream when pulled out of the ground, ala Harry Potter. http://www.ehow.com/facts_5708117_mandrake-root-do-you_.html

7. Secret Life pg. 82

8. Secret Life pg. 99.

9. Secret Life pgs. 87-90.

10. (The Editor’s – Talk about a great seat to begin experiencing the rapture’s hour of power.)

11. It raises another issue which I may address at a later date, Was Mary Magdellan a symbolic or actual practitioner of the cult of Hathor or Ninkasi and her subordination to Jesus a symbolic removal of these female-centric sources of power by a male-centric god.

12. Secret Life pgs. 84-85. And http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629) One innovation the Egyptians may have brought to beer was the use of bittering agents. They did not actually brew them into the beer but were believed to have served them as a condiment. Skirret and Lupine for example were placed between the cheek and gum much like Skoal snuff chewing tobacco. Secret Life pgs. 94-95; There is also some indication that the Egyptians may have brewed beer in the more commonly understood way of boiling malted barley in water rather than solely soaking baked “loaves” of flat bread in water under the established Sumerian method of beer production. The Egyptian word “Bouza” today refers to soaked bread beer found occasionally in Egyptian and surrounding countries homes and establishments. This word is also believed to be the source of our modern term “Booze,” which ironically refers primarily to hard liquor. Pgs. 23-24 Nelson, Max: The Barbarian’s Beverage, A History of Beer in Ancient Europe, Routledge, Milton Park, 2005, (Hereinafter Barbarian’s Beverage)

13. As well as providing a threat of catastrophic retribution, if Egyptians failed to worship their gods and goddesses properly. See generally EgyptFirst Imbeerialist Power, Part 1 http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=330

14. (The Editors – Give us some of that old time religion!)

15. Secret life Pg. 9 (Beertheostorian A – Deformed dwarf goddess of child birth, what do you expect from a society that sanctifies fetal alcohol syndrome, sexually transmitted diseases and incest as religious acts. It was good Judeo-Christian men, like Moses, Jesus, Paul, and Gambrinus who brought purity and clarity to religion and brewing.)(UAI – The Egyptians “suffered” through these deficiencies for nearly 3000 years. Before passing judgment, which good Christian practitioners should leave to the auspices of God, maybe we should study what they did and keep in mind the paucity of scientific understanding that may have lead them to overlook the obvious health problems with their life styles.)(The Editors – ZZZZZZZZZZZ)

16 http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629.

17. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_the_Great 40 years of war between “The Successors” (Diadochi) ensued before the Hellenistic world settled into four stable power blocks: the Ptolemaic kingdom of Egypt, the Seleucid Empire in the east, [Sumeria and Persia], the Kingdom of Pergamon in Asia Minor[modern day Turkey, splitting control over Syria and the Levant with the Seleucid Empire], and the [Antigonad] in Macedonia [and Greece].” The last four would fall in reverse order to the Roman Empire within 100 years. The Ptolemaic Kingdom would last another 300 years in Egypt. (The Editors – The Anti-gonad, no wonder the Romans wanted to take them out. )(It is “Antigonid” after Antigones, you morons. – Beertheostorian A)

18. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ptolemy_I_Soter;

19. See generally, Nelson, Max: Barbarian’s Beverage; and Nelson, Max at http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?cat=23&paged=4

20. In a related note the Greeks and the Romans both relegated women to lower social status than their Egyptian and Sumerian brethren treating spiritual sexual activity for a tithe as a social vice, not a religious act. Moreover they eschewed most everything of barbarian or foreign origin which may explain their disdain of beer which in the major civilizations of the time, Persio-Sumerian and Egyptian was produced primarily by women. Was the adoption of wine as a cultural drink intended consciously or sub-consciously, by the Greeks and the Romans to distance themselves from their neighbors and to substantially displace women as arbiters of cultural power?)

21. http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629

22. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Actium.

23. Embittered by her people’s abandonment of her father, Re, and his greatest gift to them, beer, Hathor transformed herself from a Leopardess to a Python slowly squeezing the life blood out of her “children” until they became unrecognizable to their forefathers.
(Beertheostorian A – What kind of naive romanticized mystical new age crap is that?)
(The Editors – We expect more from someone allegedly trained in the tenets of dialectical materialialism and post-modernist deconstructionism.)

http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629, Egyptian Beer for the Living, the Dead … and the Gods, by: HorstDornbusch on Monday – February 28, 2005.
Eames, Alan, The Secret Life of Beer: Legends, Lore, and Little Known Facts, (Hereinafter Secret Life) Storey Publishing Pownal, VT, 1995 – pg. 73. (Nobody asked to be paid in gum, but they apparently did ask to be paid in beer. Unlike gum it is not an absurd way to measure the value of labor. Are you listening purveyors of Trident Layers)
3. Secret Life. Pg. 97. UAI – It probably rolls off the tongue much more poetically in Ancient Egyptian. English can be so banally utilitarian.)
Secret Life pg. 74
Secret Life pg. 80
6. (The Editors – they achieved a state of spiritual fucking unity!) http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629 Mandrake root is a hallucinogenic narcotic legendarily used in witchcraft which is rather poisonous unless very carefully dosed. Somewhat similar in look to ginger root it usually takes a sort of stick figure human shape and is mythologically said to scream when pulled out of the ground, ala Harry Potter. http://www.ehow.com/facts_5708117_mandrake-root-do-you_.html
Secret Life pg. 82
Secret Life pg. 99.
9. Secret Life pgs. 87-90.
(The Editor’s – Talk about a great seat to begin experiencing the rapture’s hour of power.)
11. It raises another issue which I may address at a later date, Was Mary Magdellan a symbolic or actual practitioner of the cult of Hathor or Ninkasi and her subordination to Jesus a symbolic removal of these female-centric sources of power by a male-centric god.
Secret Life pgs. 84-85. And http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629) One innovation the Egyptians may have brought to beer was the use of bittering agents. They did not actually brew them into the beer but were believed to have served them as a condiment. Skirret and Lupine for example were placed between the cheek and gum much like Skoal snuff chewing tobacco. Secret Life pgs. 94-95; There is also some indication that the Egyptians may have brewed beer in the more commonly understood way of boiling malted barley in water rather than solely soaking baked “loaves” of flat bread in water under the established Sumerian method of beer production. The Egyptian word “Bouza” today refers to soaked bread beer found occasionally in Egyptian and surrounding countries homes and establishments. This word is also believed to be the source of our modern term “Booze,” which ironically refers primarily to hard liquor. Pgs. 23-24 Nelson, Max: The Barbarian’s Beverage, A History of Beer in Ancient Europe, Routledge, Milton Park, 2005, (Hereinafter Barbarian’s Beverage)
As well as providing a threat of catastrophic retribution, if Egyptians failed to worship their gods and goddesses properly. See generally EgyptFirst Imbeerialist Power, Part 1 http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=330
(The Editors – Give us some of that old time religion!)
Secret life Pg. 9 (Beertheostorian A – Deformed dwarf goddess of child birth, what do you expect from a society that sanctifies fetal alcohol syndrome, sexually transmitted diseases and incest as religious acts. It was good Judeo-Christian men, like Moses, Jesus, Paul, and Gambrinus who brought purity and clarity to religion and brewing.)(UAI – The Egyptians “suffered” through these deficiencies for nearly 3000 years. Before passing judgment, which good Christian practitioners should leave to the auspices of God, maybe we should study what they did and keep in mind the paucity of scientific understanding that may have lead them to overlook the obvious health problems with their life styles.)(The Editors – ZZZZZZZZZZZ)
http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_the_Great 40 years of war between “The Successors” (Diadochi) ensued before the Hellenistic world settled into four stable power blocks: the Ptolemaic kingdom of Egypt, the Seleucid Empire in the east, [Sumeria and Persia], the Kingdom of Pergamon in Asia Minor[modern day Turkey, splitting control over Syria and the Levant with the Seleucid Empire], and the [Antigonad] in Macedonia [and Greece].” The last four would fall in reverse order to the Roman Empire within 100 years. The Ptolemaic Kingdom would last another 300 years in Egypt. (The Editors – The Anti-gonad, no wonder the Romans wanted to take them out. )(It is “Antigonid” after Antigones, you morons. – Beertheostorian A)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ptolemy_I_Soter
See generally, Nelson, Max: Barbarian’s Beverage; and Nelson, Max at http://tavernator.com/beertheoryofhistory/?cat=23&paged=4
In a related note the Greeks and the Romans both relegated women to lower social status than their Egyptian and Sumerian brethren treating spiritual sexual activity for a tithe as a social vice, not a religious act. Moreover they eschewed most everything of barbarian or foreign origin which may explain their disdain of beer which in the major civilizations of the time, Persio-Sumerian and Egyptian was produced primarily by women. Was the adoption of wine as a cultural drink intended consciously or sub-consciously, by the Greeks and the Romans to distance themselves from their neighbors and to substantially displace women as arbiters of cultural power?
http://beeradvocate.com/articles/629
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Actium.
Embittered by her people’s abandonment of her father, Re, and his greatest gift to them, beer, Hathor transformed herself from a Leopardess to a Python slowly squeezing the life blood out of her “children” until they became unrecognizable to their forefathers. (Beertheostorian A – What kind of naive romanticized mystical new age crap is that?)
(The Editors – We expect more from someone allegedly trained in the tenets of dialectical materialialism and post-modernist deconstructionism.)